Early Morning

It's early morning on Wednesday. I've tried going out a good deal later with Alfie, but he has sat on the sofa beside me and has been staring intently at me, expecting something to happen. I tried my hardest to avoid eye-contact but it wouldn't work. So, I got dressed, having had my bowl of Shreddies and my mug of tea. Alfie's not satisfied until he gets the dregs at the bottom of my mug. I know, I know, tell me off for sharing my mug or my bowl or plate with a dog? It won't hurt. I know Chloe was horrified when I went to stay with her over Christmas. It was difficult for Alfie to not have his tea in the morning or when I'd finished. But does it matter? I don't think so. Having dressed and taken my medication, I got Alfie hooked up with his lead on his harness (a better arrangement than using his collar because it doesn't put stress on his neck.) The whole neighbourhood knows when Alfie's about because of the noise he makes as we go out of the front door. It turns out to be a good deal milder this morning. No frost on the car.

We do our usual walk around Eaglestone Park but go a good deal further. We get as far as the Redway which runs along the side of Marlborough Street. The traffic is relatively heavy. It's going much too fast. People seem to treat the grid roads like a speedway. Then we come out where the Redway goes under the grid road, and back towards home along the Redway behind the houses.

I've been to put diesel in the car this morning. I go to the BP station along Childs Way. It means I will earn extra Nectar points. I then drive out and onto Marlborough Street and then round into Witan Gate as I want to get to Sainsbury's. I have to collect a repeat prescription from Lloyd's which is inside Sainsbury's. I have a further repeat prescription to collect but that won't be done until later in the week.

I've been asked if I'd like to take part in the quiz night at the Oaktree Centre on Friday night. It seems that someone else can't take part. I say yes, because I haven't ever been involved in a quiz before. I love television gameshows such as 'Eggheads,' where at least the questions are relatively hard. Even being able to answer some of the questions on 'University Challenge' surprises me because some of them are really hard. Then there's ''Only Connect,' where the questions are notoriously difficult, having to find the link between three questions or other things. It's compered by Victoria Coren-Mitchell. Some of her remarks are what you might call 'off the wall.' These were some of Carol's favourite television shows. I'm also doing a course at church on Thursday evenings, called 'Freed To Lead.' Who knows what this may lead to? I'm also going on the 'set-up' team to being involved with setting up for Sunday services, so I'm not sitting around doing nothing at the moment, as well as going to the coffee morning which meets at John Lewis's café for people who've been bereaved and connected to Willan Hospice.

I've been to Willen this afternoon. I was annoyed to discover that Chaffron Way was once again closed off at the Marlborough Street roundabout so I had to get to Willen along Childs Way. It would be nice to be informed of such closures well in advance of the actual road closure. It seemed that the same was going on the other way along Chaffron Way. Whether it was for resurfacing or some other matter I have no idea, but still, it must be annoying for any businesses in the area. 

Driving and other Motoring Matters

I needed to buy fuel for the car as the tank has run quite low, with all the driving to Willen and other places over the past few weeks. The Renault Captur is an extremely economical car and a full tank usually lasts over a month or more. So I decided to drive to the Shell station on Grafton Street, at around 9.15 this morning, making sure that most of the morning traffic had subsided. It's surprising how busy it gets around Milton Keynes just before 9 o'clock. Almost gridlock along many of the roads around Eaglestone and into the centre.

I drove out of the estate and came out near the Eaglestone shops. It's easier than trying to get out onto Saxon Street which is actually the nearest exit, but to turn right can be an impossibility when the traffic is heaviest. Usually if you turn left and then get to the roundabout on Standing Way, you can double back on yourself and came back onto Saxon Street, but it can be very busy on Standing Way, but in Milton Keynes you can always do this manoeuvre if you get lost, just get to th next roundabout and go back the way you came. So, I came out onto Chaffron Way and drove towards Grafton Street with the intention of getting to the Shell petrol station. But when i got there I discovered it was closed off 'for renovations,' or 'modernisation.' I had no alternative, I needed fuel, so I decided to drive on to the Shell station directly opposite so drove on to the roundabout on Standing Way and so drove around to the other Shell station. On arriving there, I had to drive to the furthest pump, but then discovered that the diesel pump had a notice on it, saying, out of use. Somewhat frustrating, I had no alternative but to try a pump further back on the forecourt, but it's a 'one-way' system in these petrol stations. You can't reverse to get to the pumps further back, so I chose to drive out back onto Grafton Street and drive to the next roundabout on Chaffron Way and then double back onto Grafton Street and drive back round the roundabout on Standing Way and end up at the first pumps at the Shell station, only to find that all pumps that served diesel were 'out of use.' Where else was I to obtain diesel? I chose to drive towards the city centre and use the BP station next to the Xcape on Childs Way. So, quite a long detour around Milton Keynes, along Saxon street and then right onto Childs Way. When I got there I could hear the most appalling sound, someone using one of those leaf-blowing machines. A rather pointless exercise, in my opinion. Just blowing leaves and other rubbish, out of the way, and not picking anything up.

I managed to fill up sufficiently with diesel and then returned home. I had to collect some things before heading off to Willen to see Carol.

The car has been playing up for quite some time. A light has been coming on and a digital message on the dashboard, telling me the car is in need of a service. I'm not getting full power from the car. It's not responding as it should. The journey over to Willen, although not particularly long, is quite difficult. I realise the car is in need of some sort of maintenance, perhaps a service, with a change of oil, filters and a retune. So when I leave Willen at about 1.40 I decide to check the bank balance at the Eaglestone shops where there's a convenient A.T.M. machine and then drive to Bleak Hall Motors, who did the MoT. On arrival I explain what the problem is with the car and one of the mechanics says  that, because it's a diesel car, it might be something to do with driving on short journeys. Not sure how they could fix this. He takes it out for a test run to find out what I'm on abut, and when he comes back he says, because the light is on permanently on the dashboard, it just needs a service, so I manage to book it in for this Saturday at 8 a.m. I'm surprised that they remember my name, which is what you don't often get nowadays with any business, which makes me feel a bit more comfortable with taking the car to this particular garage. So I feel happier that they can resolve the problems with the running of the car and it will hopefully be fixed on Saturday, probably taking two hours or so after which I can go over to see Carol in Willan Hospice.

It's quite foggy today when I drive to Garroways later this morning. An almost typical November morning. The weather forecast on BBC Breakfast says that we can expect it to get colder as the week progresses. Oh well, what do you expect as the winter draws on? 

Mixed Weather

It's really considerably colder this morning, as it has for the past few mornings. I think poor Alfie must feel the chill more than ever, since he was groomed last Tuesday and now has a close trim. He doesn't like being cold, or too hot, for that matter. I will have to go out and find him a proper little jacket for when he goes out in the cold. I've seen some dogs wearing jackets and have to go and buy him one. I have a Regatta jacket which I bought last year as well a Regatta fleece to wear underneath and this morning I had to find my gloves out of the car to put on before venturing out on our regular morning walk through Eaglestone Park. The sun, however weak, was attempting to shine.

Yesterday I had to make an appointment at Ashfield Medical Centre. I began ringing at 8 o'clock and eventually managed to get through at around 8.15. Then I had to wait for a doctor to ringback at around 9.15, to be then given an appointment with one of the practise nurses at 10.45. I have been finding it difficult to sleep at night and sometimes wake at around 2 a.m and don't get back to sleep for a long time, so I have been prescribed Zopliclone. Having read the leaflet which came with the tablets ( a week's worth.) I was put off after reading it, having found out what some of the side-effects are, but then decided to take one at around 9 o'clock and then didn't wake up until gone 6 a.m. Just going to have to see how I feel before continuing with the rest of the tablets. As I write, I don't feel too bad but still have to be careful that I'm not drowsy or sleepy if I'm going to drive the car.

I had to go to the Shell station to fuel the car. I have to be careful to concentrate as it's a petrol model. It would be far too easy to put petrol in the tank, but thankfully there's a reminder when I open the petrol cap flap on the side of the Renault Captur. Then I drove straight over to Willan. I was followed by a woman driver one of those 4X4 vehicles, high off the road, lots of bull-bars etc etc and she was insistent on driving right up behind her. Fortunately there are local speed areas along Chaffron Way driving near Waitrose. Then a tractor came out of a side-road and I had no choice but to slow down, but this woman wasn't too pleased. No, I refuse to drive faster than I'm comfortable with. Why do so many drivers insist on driving like this? It is a relatively small percentage of motorists who behave in this disrespectful manner.

When I got to Willan, Carol was in her room, with one of the doctors. It seems that they have got some of the pain under control. Carol not particularly chatty, due to taking medication to keep her calm. She has a new medication delivered by two pumps, which take 24 hours to complete their administration. They use a sort of skin patch to deliver this medication. Then Roz, a lady from Shenley Christian Centre, and who has been visiting Carol at home and when she was in Milton Keynes Hospital. She cycles from work to visit. But Carol was asleep for most of the time she was there, unfortunately, although shel did wake up several times during her visit.

I was surprised that not one single child knocked on our front door trick or treating because it was halloween. Not that it bothered me. We could hear fireworks being set off somewhere nearby and it seems that some people don't realise that Guy Fawkes Night (November 5th) and halloween are two different things.

Thursday. It was relatively mild first thing this morning, but Alfie and I cut short our walk across Eaglestone Park because it was trying it's best to rain. As the day progressed it got heavier and you could barely see the lake from Carol's room window at Willen when I arrived.

Friday. A bit of a sharp frost when Alfie and I went out this morning. A considerable amount of ice on the car windscreen, but never mind. We can cope with it. Regardless of the cold, quite beautiful bright, golden sunshine lighting up some of the park. Even when it's bitterly cold, the sun can shine and lift the mood of even the coldest Autumnal day. I'm having to put on my gloves now because otherwise I wouldn't be able to do up Alfie's lead.

I had to go into the bank to pay in a cheque this morning. I parked near The Point and walked through the shopping centre. I bought a sandwich in Boots because the bank wouldn't be open until 9.30 and then walked along the shopping centre. So many shops are relocating within the shopping centre. W.H. Smith is now in a much smaller unit, as well as Patisserie Valerie. Where I came into the shopping centre I noticed that Hawkins Bazaar has taken over the unit formally occupied by FatFace. I'm not sure where that company has relocated to, even if it's still within the shopping centre.

Having been to NatWest and paid in using one of their machines (not as simple to use as the system used by Nationwide.) I walked over back towards the shopping centre. I went into Marks and Spencer as I wanted to buy new slippers. My current pair are wearing out rapidly. I was surprised by the range they have in stock. I can't believe there can be so many varieties. But the one's I liked are over-priced. They seem to have increased the price considerably since my last purchase. I think I can get virtually the same for far less elsewhere. I'll have to have a look around.

When I arrived in Willen there was a sign up saying you wouldn't be able to park at the hospice, because there was an open day on. I had to park away from the hospice and walked down the road and in at the normal entrance. You can usually park directly outside the reception area. The place was really busy with visitors.

Carol was fast asleep when I eventually got to her room. I got about two minutes-worth of conversation before she fell back asleep. According to one of the nurses I spoke to she didn't have a good night and they're giving her some form of sedation to relax her which would probably account for her sleepiness. She work to have her lunch, really nice fish and chips and followed by fruit crumble and custard.

I left Willan just after 2 o'clock.

Carol Transferred To Willan Hospice

I'm sorry, but I have to face up to it. I don't really want to discuss Carol's condition, but it has got worse than we thought. She was moved from Ward 19 at Milton Keynes Hospital to Willan Hospice on Wednesday afternoon. It all happened very rapidly and I have to say I'm incredibly grateful to the doctor who went to a meeting at Willan and managed to get the bed for Carol. I had walked to the hospital so I had to return with quite a lot of her belongings which we managed to pack up in several carrier bags. An ambulance team arrived on Ward 19 and at first Carol was to be transported out of the ward on a wheelchair, but she found it too painful to sit, so the ambulance team went off and eventually came back with a trolley for her to lay on. I had to walk back home with some of the bags of belongings and then drove straight over to Willan. Carol had arrived well before me and was already in bed in her room.

We now know that the cancer has spread. On Tuesday Carol learnt that it has spread to her lungs. She was to have further chemotherapy, but it looks unlikely that this will now happen. She was going to Willan so they could deal with the issue of pain and they had the expertise to deal with this.

Carol's mum and dad have been visiting from Bournemouth. They came up to Oxford via train and then caught the coach to Milton Keynes and I collected them from the station  on Thursday morning and we drove to Willan Hospice.

On Friday I had to ring Daniel and asked him if he could visit his mum and hopefully contact his brother, Sam, because I didn't have a telephone number to call. Also, I rang Chloe and she eventually texted me to say she would come up with her husband, Steve, on Monday morning.

Carol's mum and dad had booked a room at the Peartree Bridge Lodge, a hotel and restaurant which is very near home as well as the hospital. It would have been incredibly convenient to stay there and be so close to Carol in hospital, but by Wednesday afternoon Carol was on her way to Willen so it would mean, when they eventually arrived on Thursday, I would have to drive them over to the hospice when they arrived. It would have been easy to just walk over from Peartree Lodge, no more than a five-minute walk to the hospital. As it is, it's only a mere ten-minute drive from our home to pick them up from the hotel.

On Saturday evening I had a lovely meal with Carol's mum and dad at the carvery within the Peartree Lodge. Especially nice because it meant I didn't have to cook a meal at home when I got back from seeing Carol at Willen.

That's all I want to add at the moment. I will keep things updated when I feel I want to write more.