Things My Mother Said

Sunday. 8.25 a.m. It's amazing, as a child,  you trust your parents completely. My mother would say things which I believed, and you never argued with a grown-up! One of her favourite sayings, if she was asked to do something which she obviously didn't want to, would get the response, 'I can't, because I have a bone in my leg.' Thinking about it as an adult, that doesn't really make a lot of sense, because we all have a 'bone 'in our legs; otherwise, how do we stand or walk?  As a child, you don't see the logic in such a saying.

Something else she said, and probably a lot of parents say something similar to their children, would be, 'Eat your greens. If you do, your hair won't go curly.' Another might be, 'if you don't smile, the milk will go sour.'

It was the same with the crusts on bread. You were supposed to eat them; otherwise, you won't grow tall, or something equally ridiculous. I had no problem with that, because I was tall before I was a teenager, so it didn't make any difference, and I always ate the crusts.

In my home, there was a rule. At tea-time, it was always 'bread before cake.'  'You can't get down from the table until everyone has finished'. Which could be a long time, as I had four other brothers, as well as my mother and father.

If you asked my mother, 'How old are you?' she would invariably say something like '99.' That didn't make any sense. I had an ancient great aunt. At the time, probably in her late 80s. I think she died when she was around 95. My mother certainly appeared 99, while my great aunt definitely seemed ancient. To make it even more baffling, my mother would tell me my great aunt was 21!