So, as we enter a new year. I only trust and hope (and pray) that 2019 is better than 2018. There will be a very big hole in my life, left when Carol passed away. We had an amazing marriage. 11 years of total joy. We did so much together, we visited so many places, discovered so many new things as a couple. The battle with cancer was very difficult. We had hopes that it could be won. Carol got through 12 cycles of chemotherapy without too much trouble. Then she got the infection which lead to her being in hospital for several periods, until the final stretch which eventually lead to her going into Willen Hospice for them to deal with the awful pain she had to endure. They managed to find the right combination of medication to relieve the pain and then she had to move out of Willen (because they could only allow her to stay for no more than 5 weeks.) which eventually lead to her moving to Castlemead Court where she eventually died barely a week later.
Carol had her sights set on going back to work. She loved her job as a science teacher. It was very stressful but that didn't put her off. I was able to support her by being at home, looking after the house, shopping, cleaning and making sure she had a meal when she got home in the evening. She was almost alway at work before other members of staff, usually by 7.15. It's only a short walk from our home to the Academy, so I could go and meet her as she left in the afternoon. She will be sadly missed by her colleagues and pupils. How many times we would be out in Milton Keynes, shopping or doing nothing in particular, when we would have one of her students come to see her and tell her that they had to thank her for helping them gain whatever qualification so they could achieve their ambition, for example, get to university. Or she would find a former pupil working somewhere, probably on a supermarket checkout or similar. Quite heartening to think she has left a legacy like that. But, as the cancer took hold it seemed unlikely that she would ever return to work. The pain she experienced was too much.
When we first got the diagnosis around 18 months ago, it was a terrible shock. I told Carol then that I would be with her all the way along the journey, however difficult. And it was. The worst thing being that, however much pain and suffering she had to endure, there was nothing much I could do do help. All I could do was be at her side and watch. I managed to be with her every day she was in hospital, and at every consultant and doctor's appointment and every single chemotherapy session. We did manage to visit some interesting places in the early days after the diagnosis, but there were times when it was obvious that Carol was in intense pain. It was extremely difficult for me to see someone who was so lively, had a degree in earth sciences, went on to become an extremely popular and successful science teacher, who enjoyed reading, playing games on her Kindle, sometimes playing Scrabble with me when she was in hospital, and then, over a relatively short period, doing none of these things, just laying in bed, in excruciating pain, and doing nothing, spending long periods asleep, and drugged to the point that she could barely tell what the time of day was or what was going on.
Carol had her sights set on going back to work. She loved her job as a science teacher. It was very stressful but that didn't put her off. I was able to support her by being at home, looking after the house, shopping, cleaning and making sure she had a meal when she got home in the evening. She was almost alway at work before other members of staff, usually by 7.15. It's only a short walk from our home to the Academy, so I could go and meet her as she left in the afternoon. She will be sadly missed by her colleagues and pupils. How many times we would be out in Milton Keynes, shopping or doing nothing in particular, when we would have one of her students come to see her and tell her that they had to thank her for helping them gain whatever qualification so they could achieve their ambition, for example, get to university. Or she would find a former pupil working somewhere, probably on a supermarket checkout or similar. Quite heartening to think she has left a legacy like that. But, as the cancer took hold it seemed unlikely that she would ever return to work. The pain she experienced was too much.
When we first got the diagnosis around 18 months ago, it was a terrible shock. I told Carol then that I would be with her all the way along the journey, however difficult. And it was. The worst thing being that, however much pain and suffering she had to endure, there was nothing much I could do do help. All I could do was be at her side and watch. I managed to be with her every day she was in hospital, and at every consultant and doctor's appointment and every single chemotherapy session. We did manage to visit some interesting places in the early days after the diagnosis, but there were times when it was obvious that Carol was in intense pain. It was extremely difficult for me to see someone who was so lively, had a degree in earth sciences, went on to become an extremely popular and successful science teacher, who enjoyed reading, playing games on her Kindle, sometimes playing Scrabble with me when she was in hospital, and then, over a relatively short period, doing none of these things, just laying in bed, in excruciating pain, and doing nothing, spending long periods asleep, and drugged to the point that she could barely tell what the time of day was or what was going on.
No comments:
Post a Comment