Annoying Television Commercials

Who loves television commercials? It's annoying that your favourite television show has to be interrupted by these often crass and plain stupid promotions for stuff you probably don't want or need, but, as ITV and other channels depend on them for their finances they're a necessary part of life. Many are fun and quite harmless. They pass before your eyes and after a while you don't really notice them, but others are just plain annoying and irritating. I'll endeavour to give my list of some of the worst. I have to admit that a handful are very good, either because they are amusing, but are well crafted and worth countless viewings. A great many directors begin their careers making television commercials. For example, Ridley Scott, who went on to make films such as 'Blade Runner,' cut his teeth making commercials for Hovis, the one which has the young lad riding a bicycle down a hill (which is supposed to be somewhere in the North of England but was actually shot at Gold Hill in Shaftsbury, Dorset) and the whole used Dvorak's 'New World Symphony' as the background musical score for the advert. Also, many of the Guinness ads, particularly the one with the horses in the surf is quite brilliant and clever. But the rest . . . well, just read on.

Why is the advert for Cillit Bang so incredibly annoying? Who is Barry Scott? Why is he obsessed with this product? Does he do all the cleaning in his home? He is actually played by actor Neil Burgess. Are we expected to believe that he invented this product? Why does he have to shout so much and why does the product have such a stupid name? It does work quite well, but why give it such a silly name. It doesn't make any noise, definitely not bang in any way shape or form. I feel sorry for his wife or partner if he spends all his time shouting to get attention. What kind of life do they have if he can't communicate except by shouting, 'bang, and the dirt is gone!' Does he have an exceptionally clean house? Wouldn't it annoy his partner if he spends so much time cleaning? And shouting all the time? Not a sound basis for a long-term relationship.

Another annoying advert is the one for Go Compare, with that stupid opera singer with the irritating curly moustache who keeps popping up all over the place. Does he not realise that he's annoying and keep out of the way? Perhaps that's why advertising agencies use these characters, we hate them, so we remember them. Wouldn't you want to kick someone up the backside if someone who keeps singing in a crazy operatic style and interrupting people when they least expect it. In the latest advert he's perched on top of an aeroplane. How did he get there and how on earth can he sing with the wind whistling past him? Why doesn't he fall off? Why doesn't health and safety intervene and stop him doing such a dangerous thing? It's so unconvincing and obviously done with green screen. It's about as realistic as fake snow. How do they manage to fly under Tower Bridge without falling off? I know it's just a television ad and not supposed to be 'real.'

The Safe Style adverts for double glazing were fairly annoying. They were led by someone who almost jumped out of the screen and into your living room and was so forceful in his approach to selling you almost felt compelled to make an order, pushing over a load of windows as he shouted at you. 'By one, get one free!' he screamed at you. Enough to make you want to put your boot through the television screen. I notice they've abandoned that style of advertisements and have gone for a far gentler approach for their ads. Did they not realise that it might actually put off customers?

Sofa ads are generally annoying. Why do they always seem to advertise sales that companies such as D.F.S. always seem to have? Do they never sell their sofas at full-price? And why on earth is it so important that if you order it's got to be in time for either Christmas or Easter? I have mentioned this in another post, so perhaps I shouldn't repeat myself. And why do they have people who front these ads with such irritating behaviours? Women with high-pitched voices? Or who jump up and down on the sofas. or fling themselves across them in seductive fashion? Or work in cheap comedy, such as the one for Oak Furniture World or whatever it's called? The one where the two salesmen try to out-do each other and one keeps knocking on the furniture with his knuckles? What's going on there? To make sure we get the message that their furniture is made of solid wood and not plastic? And why use initials for your company? What does D.F.S. or S.C.S. stand for?

Having done a Google search for 'Annoying television commercials,' it's interesting how many of the lists I find have the adverts I list on here, the Cillit Bang and Go Compare and Safe Style one's in particular.

Why On Earth?

Why on earth do so many television gameshows have to have such garish sets? 'Tenable', one of the back-to-back gameshows on ITV in the afternoon, has the most garish set design, mostly green. The green is a sort of pea-soup, even mushy pea-colour or artificial pea-colour. It's not just the bright colours used, but a lot of horrible moving lights and then that awful plunky sound (not correct in any way to describe it as 'music') every time something happens? Perhaps the set designers have a sort of design-style handbook for television gameshows, which says that the colour has to be bright and over-the-top and the sound design have horrible plunky-plunk music on the soundtrack. Can't ITV be more imaginative in it's scheduling, make and produce something different instead of gameshows? Actually, all channels in the afternoon. BBC1 has Pointless at 5.15 (the slot that used to have 'The Weakest Link' hosted by Anne Robinson.) and which now has 'The Chase' on ITV. 'Impossible' on BBC and perhaps one of the oddest of the lost, 'Tipping Point' based loosely on the old 'Shove Penny' game machine from fanfares and seaside piers.  You get sort of hypnotised by that machine, the different levels moving backwards and forwards. But lets be honest, it's not exactly gripping television. The questions are generally so easy any primary-school child could answer them. I reckon the producers are using psychology to get people hooked on these shows, rather like Pavlov's Dogs, when a bell rang, they get a dog to do a certain trick, make it drool when there was any food about. A certain sound, or light, would make you want to buy a product or do something else. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing intrinsically wrong with gameshows. But when they become the main source of scheduling it does show a complete lack of imagination.

The BBC has had great success with drama in the early afternoon slot with things like 'Father Brown' and 'Moving On' which are very good considering they're made on minuscule budgets. I think 'Father Brown' has had around six series now (not sure of the exact number.) and it's built up a loyal following. It has humour at the heart of it, and the central characters are convincing. Also, the setting, a Cotswold village, also makes it worth watching. As with other television dramas, such as 'Doc Martin' and 'Morse' the setting almost becomes like another character and seems to define the show. In some ways it's difficult to separate the setting from the show. These shows wouldn't be the same if they were set elsewhere.

As for adverts on television. The current 'Mr Kipling' adverts drive me mad, the one where the daughter reveals that she has a tattoo to her father, and she only has to wave a plate of Mr Kipling cakes at him and he changes his mind.  Before he was totally against her having one, but suddenly- pow! He caves in. Ridiculous! He's an easy touch it would appear, swayed by pink and shiny confectionary. Does that mean if a robber comes into his house and threatens to steal the family silver, if they waved a plate of cakes at him, they could get away with the crime? How far could this go? I'm sure I could find plenty of other similar scenarios. Are people that easily swayed by a plateful of fancy cakes? If so, it's rather sad. The cakes look a good deal bigger than they are in real life. I've tried them, no better than any other brand. They do taste good but they are a real disappointment. You open the packet and are then disappointed by the fact that two bites and they're gone. Just small and pathetic. A bit of a con in my opinion. The way they shoot the ad they look much bigger, clever camera angles and close-ups and lighting make them appear larger than    they really are. Think of all the money they make out of this product and then add on the over-all cost of making these advertisements. A lot of adverts for food use a variety of tricks to make the food look appetising, using dry ice to create the appearance of steam, gelatine to give a shiny surface, clever lighting and other effects.

I've mentioned sofa adverts on these posts before now, but why do they think everyone is desperate to have a sofa for Christmas?  Companies such as D.F.S. and S.C.S. are two such sofa companies which comes to mind (by the way, what do D.F.S and S.C.S.. stand for?) It's the old advertising thing of getting people to buy something that they might not actually want or need, creating a sort of desperate need to have that something, and if it's in time for Christmas you can show the sofa off to friends and family. if you keep showing those ads for long enough, even if at first you didn't really feel you wanted the product, you'll sit and look around your living room (even more clever tactics, this, when you think the viewer will be sitting on a sofa or armchair which is probably past it's best, needs replacing or at least refurbishing. Shoving brand new, sparkling, fresh sofas on an ad on television, makes your tatty old cut-moquette three-piece suite look a little moth eaten, to say the least. So, you are compelled to order one and end up further in debt. But why on earth for Christmas? It doesn't actually have to be just Christmas, as it could be in the run-up to Easter, Mothering Sunday, or any holiday period where you're likely to have visitors. And when they see the lovely new sofa they feel they want one and have to go away and order their own. It's playing on the jealousy thing. If someone sees something and want it they have to go out and buy whatever it is.