Difficult Post

I haven't posted on here for well over a week, which, if you are a regular reader of my ramblings in this blog, will not have surprised you. The reason is that my lovely wife, Carol, passed away on 11th December. The last 18 months or so have been a really traumatic journey, from the original diagnosis, through 12 completed cycles of chemotherapy, the infection she got after the final chemo cycle, the hospitals stays (I've lost count of how many she had.), but throughout I have gone with her for each consultants appointment, chemo cycle in the oncology department at Milton Keynes University Hospital, consultant's appointments at the Churchill Hospital in Oxford, Endoscopy, M.R.I. and as  well as C.T. scans, then to Willen Hospice and finally, Castlemead Court in Newport Pagnell.

I have been supported throughout all this by members of Shenley Christian Fellowship, particularly our Pastor, Ross Dilnot, who was with me on the morning of Carol's death. He came with me when I went to the Registry Office to register the death, which we did last Friday morning and then to Mason's, the undertaker's in Newport Pagnell to arrange the funeral, which will be at 2 p.m. on 11th January at Crownhill Crematorium.

I was supposed to have had a second stent fitted the following day, 12th December, at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford. I was driven there by Tim O'Brien who is a member of S.C.F. There was no way I could drive, and I was supposed to get to the hospital department by 7.30a.m. Also, I was told that I would not be able to drive after the procedure. I was on the morning list, so I'd be finished and ready to come home around midday.

But, unfortunately, I had a bit of a meltdown. I should have cancelled the procedure, but it was barely 24 hours since Carol had passed away. So I discussed this with one of the nurses and explained that I was feeling depressed over Carol's passing. She understood and suggested they postpone the procedure. Then one of the doctors came to talk to me and said that there was no immediate emergency regarding the procedure and it could be postponed until sometime in January. Hopefully after the funeral. The doctor had to ring Tim on his mobile because he had gone off to park in a park-and-ride carpark with the intention of going into the centre of Oxford until I was finished after the procedure. Everyone understood that what I have been going through was traumatic and emotional enough and that it wouldn't have been appropriate for me to go ahead with the procedure.

This is a shorter-than-usual post, for me, at least. It was really difficult to write. It has actually taken a few days to put into words what's been happening, but now I've completed it. It's going to be a difficult couple of weeks as you can imagine.

Carol Moves to Castlemead Court

On Sunday, when I visited Carol a good deal later than I usually visit, I learned that Carol was moving to Castlemead Court in Newport Pagnell. One of the nurses came into her room at Willen to say that transport had been booked to take her there and I would need to start packing her belongings as there wouldn't be room on the ambulance for more than one bag of things, so most of her belongings would need to be transported in our car.

On Monday morning I was told that there would be an ambulance to take Carol from Willen Hospice to Castlemead Court and that it was booked for between 11-11.30 a.m., but they didn't actually arrive until about 1.30. Carol missed lunch, but she had a bowl of soup. We'd managed to pack up all her belongings into several carrier bags which were put in the back of the car. Carol was transferred from her bed onto a stretcher by the paramedics and wheeled out to the ambulance. I drove off out of the carpark and I soon caught up with the ambulance as it left Willen Village and managed to follow it all the way to Newport Pagnell and I was surprised how close it was to Castlemead Court, probably no more than two miles.

On arrival at Castlemead the paramedics unloaded Carol on the stretcher and wheeled her into the unit and I followed with as much of the bags as i could carry and took them into the unit and into the room where she was ensconced a few minutes before I arrived.

It's a friendly enough place, Castlemead. Carol has learnt that she is the youngest person there. A lot of altzeimers sufferers, people in wheelchairs, a lot of screaming and someone calling out constantly. Carol prefers to have her door open, but it's sometimes necessary to close it when there's too much noise. She has been asleep or at least very drowsy when I have arrived in the morning and she's usually being given a wash and the bedding changed when I turn up, so I have to wait in the lounge area, which is just opposite her room. Plenty of armchairs to sit in and a large-screen television. They have put up Christmas decorations. You can always go into the kitchen area in the dining room to make a cup of tea or coffee and Carol gets a choice at meal-time. I generally help her eat her breakfast or lunch. There is a menu on the wall along the corridor so you can always check what there is for each meal, all prepared fresh on the premises.

The big issue I have with Castlemead is finding a place to park. I find if I get there early enough, around 10 a.m., I can usually park easily. On Wednesday, when I drove over from Milton Keynes, I have come via Willen, along Brickhill Street, but that day there I found out until far too late that the road was closed so I had to drive towards the city centre and go via Monk's Way, the road that goes towards Chichley and Only, and cut through to Newport Pagnell along the usual road I take into the centre of the town. Just annoying that I wasn't informed of the road closure earlier and had to drive several miles out of my way.

Staff are allowed to bring their dogs to work. So there can be a couple of really delightful dogs running about the unit. One, called Charlie, does tricks. You have to know the hand gestures that will get him to 'sit' or 'roll over,' and then give him a treat out of a box which is kept near the television. Carol loves him, and he was put on her bed to stroke. A really good way to motivate residents, in particular, those with alzheimer's. On my first arrival when I was viewing the place last week, I was greeted at the front door by a little shitzu, which was one half of our dog, Poppy, who was a cross Westie/ Schitzu. It barked at me and kept coming up to me and then when I arrived on one of the upper floors I was greeted by two, what I think were pugs. I think Charlie is a pug, but I'm not exactly sure.

Carol Moving From Willen Hospice

Last Friday we were told by one of the doctors, that, because of the fact that Carol's pain had been got under control she would need to transfer to a new place of care. This came as something of a shock to both of us. They began the process of finding suitable accommodation and first they needed to get funding her her new care package, wherever it was likely to be. There was the option for her to return home, but we discussed this and it would be impossible for her to return home. The house is not suitable, she would need a bed in the lounge, which wouldn't work because of the size of the room as well as the fact that there is a large bookcase which would be in the way of the door which would prevent the use of a wheelchair, as well as steps in and out of the front door and the layout of the rooms would make access virtually impossible. She wouldn't be able to use the upstairs bedroom, because of mobility problems. So a suitable care home which could provide similar nursing care as Willen Hospice would be a better option. It seems Willen is only set up for short term care of around four to five weeks and she has been there for at least five weeks.

On Tuesday, when I got home from Willen, I got a telephone call from something called Continuing Care, telling me that they could fund Carol's transfer to a new care home, called Castlemead Court which is in Newport Pagnell. A lady at church had said that she would be willing to go with me to check out places for Carol, so we decided on visiting on Thursday morning, after which I would decide, in consultation with Carol, whether this place was suitable. Carol wasn't too pleased at the news of having to move away from Willen, understandably. A bit of s shock, basically because she's got used to being there as well as building up relationships with the nursing staff.

On Thursday I went to see Castlemead Court. I really liked the place. On arrival, I was met by a little dog, a bit like our Poppy, barking at me. Then, when we were shown upstairs to the unit on which Carol would be, there were two more dogs. They sniffed at me, obviously picking up Alfie's scent on my clothes. Then the two dogs followed me around as we were shown around the property. The individual rooms are spacious, a good deal larger than those at Willen. The place has a more homely feel, less institutionalised or like a hospital, which, basically, is what Willen is like, although it has a lovely calming atmosphere. So I decided that the place was suitable for Carol's needs, her care wouldn't change from what she is getting at Willen, along with all her medications as well as having a hospital bed.

On being taken back to the reception area, I was given a brochure and more details about Castlemead, with photographs and descriptions of the place, which I would give to Carol to look at when I visited on Friday morning. We discussed the move to Castlemead and she agreed that it would be a pleasant enough place to transfer to. One of the doctors came in and we discussed Castlemead and Carol's moving there and the doctor said that he would contact Continuing Care to start the ball rolling for Carol to transfer there from Willen.

(Wednesday) I took Alfie out for his morning walk (More like a gallop, as he hardly walks when let off his lead.). There was a slight drizzle as we got out into the road, and it seemed to get heavier the closer we got to the grassy area where I let him off his lead. So I had to make the decision to cut short the walk and not do the usual circuit of the park, cutting across the grass and back home along the path back up to our house.

(Thursday) Well, I know I keep repeating myself, but it really doesn't matter. It's because we follow a routine. Alfie didn't want to miss his walk, even though it was barely light when we ventured forth this morning. I did stick my head out the front door to see if it was raining. It wasn't. It rained during the night, because I could hear it rattling on the windows. We did our usual circuit of Eaglestone Park. I was determined that we did. Some 1513 steps, according to my step-counter. On the way round we saw a lady coming out of her house with a dog, I think it was a Basset hound, one of those low-slung dogs with droopy ears and a long tail and black and white. I'm thinking of the character of Fred Basset who has his own comic strip in, I think, the Daily Mail. What caught my eye was the fact that he had a string of blue Christmas lights around his collar! Very original and very clever. I have never seen this before. Must have been battery powered. I don't think the doggy was interested in being friends with Alfie, who almost always wants to say 'hello' to every dog, whatever its size or shape, that he encounters.

This morning (Friday), when I was visiting Carol at Willen, I got a telephone call on my mobile, from Continuing Care. It would appear that they hadn't been contacted about Carol's transfer to Castlemead, but I gave my consent for them to make arrangements for Carol's move, which, if all the paperwork gets sorted by the various departments, this should go ahead early next week.

Sunny and Bright

What a difference a few days can make, particularly in regards to the weather. We've been spending the morning waiting for Carol's mum and dad to arrive from Bournemouth, so we've been cleaning the house. I've been using the cordless vacuum cleaner we've bought, which compliments the G-Tech one we bought the other week. This is a Multi, also made by G-Tech and makes light work of cobwebs and the dust you can't reach with a standard machine. None of the trailing cables or tubes which cause so many problems. You can get between those awkward places where dust and fluff gathers (particularly in the kitchen, between the cooker and the units either side.) The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the house is now relatively clean. I think the fact that the sun is out makes doing jobs like cleaning far easier, it's good for your mental state and helps inspire you to get on with what are generally boring jobs such as house-cleaning.

We drove over to Newport Pagnall where Carol's mum and dad were going to stay. They'd been bought up to Milton Keynes by Carol's sister who was going to be at some needlework event at the hotel so they had booked several nights in the same hotel. We'd driven out to find the hotel yesterday evening so we knew where to go this morning. A good idea as we have a propensity for not finding places or at least getting lost. They were due to arrive around lunch-time so we got to Newport Pagnall at around 1 o'clock. It took us a while to find the hotel entrance which was badly sign-posted, having parked the car in a side-road near the hotel. There were a few ladies waiting in the reception-area who were obviously part of the needlework event and then Jacqueline and Carol's mum and dad turned up, Jackie parking in a space near the hotel entrance. We went with Carol's mum and dad and went to a rather nice pub along the street from the hotel and had some drinks and rolls for lunch and then returned to the hotel. We drove back home to Eaglestone with Carol's parents and spent a couple of hours in the house and had our evening meal and then took them back to the hotel. We're going early tomorrow morning to pick them up to take them out tomorrow for the day.

I currently have got Alfie, our Yorkshire Terrier, being very demanding. I bought him a tin for his treats for Christmas. He knows perfectly well what's in this Baker's dog-food tin which is on the table next to my armchair where I'm typing this blog. I have already given him three of these treats. He's prodding the tin with his nose or his paw. He's even managed to get the lid to open, goodness knows how. I trust he wouldn't be able to get the treats out of the tin, but who knows, as he's a very bright and clever little dog. Since he's been groomed and had most of his coat removed, he's wearing a rather smart knitted jumper which will keep him warm. He rather likes it. When Carol found it and he saw it he was almost asking to have it to wear. 

Alfie Has A Haircut

We've been looking for a dog groomer for Alfie. It's not the simplest of things finding someone who can do the job. I kept ringing numbers found through the internet. Most seem to be fully booked well into the summer months. It would have been easier to get a mobile groomer as it would mean less stress for him. We had someone do this a few years ago, but Poppy was very difficult to get groomed as she didn't like being handled, particularly her paws. It got to the stage where her nails got really bad. Alfie, on the other hand, seems to relish being pampered and made a fuss of. We took them to the Grooming Room which is within Pets At Home, there being two branches within easy reach, one at Bletchley and the other at Rooksley. I attempted to book Alfie in at the Bletchley branch but they were over-subscribed. Anyway, his coat was beginning to look very untidy, his claws needed trimming as they were getting caught in various bits of clothing and bedding and the build-up of black mess under his eyes was looking really horrible and was getting really serious. Anyway, I eventually found someone who who do the job, booked about a month in advance. The lady in question was put in the diary for 2 o'clock today.

We went to Waitrose to do a bit of shopping earlier in the morning. We went to Newport Pagnall because Carol's mum and dad are coming up from Bournemouth and staying in a hotel in Tickford Street. Carol wanted to drive over to find it. We went down Chaffron Way and then cut across towards Monks Way. There were signs up at the Eaglestone end that the road was going to be closed off for resurfacing work (well, I assumed it was resurfacing, as they are doing most of the Milton Keynes grid roads.) On the way back we found we couldn't get into Oakgrove, where Waitrose is located, as the Chaffron Way section was closed off for the resurfacing. We managed to get in via Brickhill Street. On arrival at the Waitrose carpark, the place was virtually empty, likewise the actual store. I imagine they will be loosing a lot of custom due to the roadworks. But it meant we got what we wanted in the store a good deal faster than we normally would. I also took out cash to pay the groomer lady from the Metro Bank A.T.M. near Waitrose.

We got home and unpacked the shopping in the kitchen and then I did some washing up. As I stood at the sink, the telephone rang. It was the groomer lady. Would it alright if she came earlier? I said, fine. She would be with us in around 45 minutes, making it about 11.45.  Carol had Alfie on his lead, and had intended taking him out for a walk, but he gets so stressed out whenever he realises he's going out for a walk, that it wasn't going to happen because the groomer lady knocked on the door and we handed over Alfie to be sorted.

So, about 90 minutes later, another knock on the door, the sound of a very distinctive bark, and Alfie is handed back over, shorn, looking very different. None of his curly coat left, we can see his eyes, so he can see where he's going and the horrible mess on his face- gone- but the skin underneath looking very red and raw. He looked somewhat shocked, his ears laid back on his head. But he does look better and far neater. Really worth the wait and effort expended. We'll have to make sure that he doesn't get into such a bad state before he has his nest haircut.

Still Raining

Considering the flooding in other parts of the country at the moment, particularly along the River Thames near Chertsey and Staines and in the Somerset Levels, we shouldn't complain here in Milton Keynes about flooding. We have had very little, although there has been a considerable amount around Newport Pagnall and Olney. As I sit and write this I can see out of the window from the lounge and the rain is falling as hard and fast as ever, some running down the window. The garden is like a quagmire. Whenever the dogs go outside they come back caked in mud. Neither of them wants to stay outside for long, and who can really blame them? The fence is looking very unstable. Along the right hand side of the garden an entire section of the fence was blown over a couple of weeks ago. We managed to right it and prop it up as best we could and put some old garden chairs against it and it seemed to survive in this condition for a few weeks, but it came down only a couple of days ago with an almighty crash which I heard when I was reading. This fence-section is now in such a poor state of repair that there is really no point in attempting to right it again. The upright planking has come adrift from the cross-pieces which hold it together. It, along with the remainder of the fence, is in a very sorry state and I predict that a further strong wind will see it completely disintegrate. Alfie has been tempted on several occasions to wander through the gap in the fence whenever he goes into the garden, but I think he now knows that he must stay in the garden and not go through the gap. We have all manner of items propped up against the fence in an attempt to either shore it up or plug holes in it. Having said all that about rain, it is still relatively mild. There have been days when we've been out to the car first thing in the morning and discovered the windscreen has a layer of ice on it, but those days have been few and far between. I drove to Waitrose this morning and saw primroses had bloomed along the side of Chaffron Way. Considering we are barely halfway through February it seems very early to see signs of flowers blooming. Definitely a good deal milder than this time las year when we had a very long spell of snow and ice.

Workmen are currently working along the road from this house with a shredder into which they are putting cuttings from bushes and trees. It had got very overgrown along some of the paths around this estate so it was good to see this work being carried out. A lot of the trees along the inner ring road of the estate has been cleared and it is now much tidier and clearer. A lot of the trees along the Redways and Gridroads have been cleared and i must say it looks very neat and tidy.