Carol Transferred To Willan Hospice

I'm sorry, but I have to face up to it. I don't really want to discuss Carol's condition, but it has got worse than we thought. She was moved from Ward 19 at Milton Keynes Hospital to Willan Hospice on Wednesday afternoon. It all happened very rapidly and I have to say I'm incredibly grateful to the doctor who went to a meeting at Willan and managed to get the bed for Carol. I had walked to the hospital so I had to return with quite a lot of her belongings which we managed to pack up in several carrier bags. An ambulance team arrived on Ward 19 and at first Carol was to be transported out of the ward on a wheelchair, but she found it too painful to sit, so the ambulance team went off and eventually came back with a trolley for her to lay on. I had to walk back home with some of the bags of belongings and then drove straight over to Willan. Carol had arrived well before me and was already in bed in her room.

We now know that the cancer has spread. On Tuesday Carol learnt that it has spread to her lungs. She was to have further chemotherapy, but it looks unlikely that this will now happen. She was going to Willan so they could deal with the issue of pain and they had the expertise to deal with this.

Carol's mum and dad have been visiting from Bournemouth. They came up to Oxford via train and then caught the coach to Milton Keynes and I collected them from the station  on Thursday morning and we drove to Willan Hospice.

On Friday I had to ring Daniel and asked him if he could visit his mum and hopefully contact his brother, Sam, because I didn't have a telephone number to call. Also, I rang Chloe and she eventually texted me to say she would come up with her husband, Steve, on Monday morning.

Carol's mum and dad had booked a room at the Peartree Bridge Lodge, a hotel and restaurant which is very near home as well as the hospital. It would have been incredibly convenient to stay there and be so close to Carol in hospital, but by Wednesday afternoon Carol was on her way to Willen so it would mean, when they eventually arrived on Thursday, I would have to drive them over to the hospice when they arrived. It would have been easy to just walk over from Peartree Lodge, no more than a five-minute walk to the hospital. As it is, it's only a mere ten-minute drive from our home to pick them up from the hotel.

On Saturday evening I had a lovely meal with Carol's mum and dad at the carvery within the Peartree Lodge. Especially nice because it meant I didn't have to cook a meal at home when I got back from seeing Carol at Willen.

That's all I want to add at the moment. I will keep things updated when I feel I want to write more.

Alfie's New Doggy Friend

(Wednesday) So, we have a beautifully groomed and clipped Alfie! Even his claws are trimmed! You can see his face properly! His eyes are clear and he doesn't now have that annoying fringe over his face. Infact, he looks sleek and efficient. As he should. He shouldn't need another trim until at least the Spring, probably April. 

Alfie is more than eager to get outside for his routine walk across Eaglestone Park. I have to get ready with my jacket and shoes on where he can't see me, otherwise I get a barrage of loud and persistent barking. I have my mobile in one pocket, a doggy bag in another along with my trusty G.T.N. spray. I usually have a few sprays under my tongue just in case and we set off, with Alfie yapping contentedly. We get part-way round the park when we hear a deep bark. Another dog. Alfie has been set free from his lead and round off to investigate and we come across two ladies walking a rather over-weight beagle, black-and-tan, but not too eager to befriend a small Yorkshire Terrier. Alfie runs rings round this dog, who is somewhat befuddled by the advances of poor Alfie, who just wants to be friends. Perhaps it's just too much for this poor dog. And no wonder. This dog makes me think of the beagle which used to appear in a cartoon strip in, I think, the Daily Mail, called Fred Bassett. It was created by Alex Graham. I am in the middle a writing project set in and around a park (not Eaglestone Park, by the way.) and Alfie is featuring heavily. I have it part-written, but a lot of it is in note-form. I will return to it when I get the opportunity, but the fact that we do our routine daily walk through the park is giving me plenty of inspiration. It is far easier to write about real situations, or at least, use them and fictionalise them, than to write imaginary situations. It makes what you write seem far more convincing. These blog posts are also useful for inspiration.

New Cardiology Appointment and other Matters

(Saturday)I have had a letter today from the Cardiology Department at Milton Keynes Hospital giving me an appointment there on 24th December at 3.35p.m. I'm somewhat surprised that I would have such an appointment on Christmas Eve, or at least, that late in the day. It says that more procedures and tests may be done and may take up to three hours. Which would take things up to about 6 or 7 o'clock by which time you would assume they would be closing for the Christmas period. It does make sense to have my care looked after from Milton Keynes and not the John Radcliffe in Oxford. They did the Perfusion Test there simply because that procedure can't be done at Milton Keynes because they don't have the gamma camera that John Radcliffe has. The scans from the tests done two weeks ago can easily be sent over to Milton Keynes, making life easier for me if I don't have to have the inconvenience of the journey to and from Oxford when the Cardiology Department at Milton Keynes is a mere ten-minute walk from our house.

(I'm writing less on this blog as you may have noticed. I'm writing something each day and then posting it when I have enough material to make it worthwhile publishing it, so don't expect a long piece every day. So there may be a week's worth of stuff in one post.)

2.00p.m. I've been walking to the hospital for the past few days. Apart from anything else, it's good exercise and it's a mere 10-minutes to the hospital. It also saves me around £4.50 in parking tickets so that's £9 over two days, depending, of course, how long I remain on the ward.  But then I saw that the barrier at the exit to the carpark near Cardiology was stuck in the upright position, so you could get out without the need of a parking ticket and no need to pay. Never mind. It's a bright and sunny day and actually really pleasant walking along with the sun shining through the trees onto the path.

Carol feeling somewhat down today. Still in a lot of pain. Although her temperature has come down slightly. I hope this is a good sign and that it comes down to it's correct level and it's a sign that the infection is under control. We will hopefully know more when the doctors come round the ward tomorrow at some time.

We had Holy Communion with one of the chaplains on the ward this morning, which was really nice. We've met all of the hospital chaplains now. Because I didn't go to church this morning, because of a worry that I might catch the bug that is currently going round, it was great to have some sort of worship time, even though not the same as we have at Shenley Christian Fellowship.

Monday. 8.00 a.m. I took out Alfie as usual round Eaglestone Park. Alfie as excited as ever. He met up with the three dogs being walked by the lady we keep on meeting. Alfie wants to be friends but they don't seem in the least bit interested. Alfie barks at them, but no ball-game with these dogs. A shame.

The Human Resources lady from Milton Keynes Academy telephoned early this morning and wanted to know how she was. She wanted to visit and needed to know what the ward visiting hours were. I wasn't entirely sure, but assumed it was from 2 to 8 p.m. When I eventually arrived on the ward at around 10 o'clock I found Carol fast asleep and was going to tell her that the lady was going to visit at some point. Carol continued to sleep until around 11, and then a bit after two of the HR ladies arrived, with a card signed by everyone in Carol's department along with some fruit, some plums and strawberries. They stayed for about 20 minutes. I think Carol was pleased to see them and hear about how things are going at the Academy.

Yes, I forget. It's my birthday, but I don't make an issue of it. Just a pity Carol isn't at home to share cake or something. I just want her home from hospital so we can at least get out of the house and visit somewhere pleasant, Woburn Abbey, Whipsnade or Waddesdon for example. Or even one of the lovely garden centres we visit on occasion, to have coffee and a pastry for example.

Tuesday. I'm taking Alfie to the groomer's for a 1 o'clock appointment today, so I will have to leave the hospital at around midday to get  to Pets At Homet, at the retail park in Bletchley.

We had a meeting with one of the doctors which is managing Carol's pain, along with one of the Macmillan nurses in the palliative care team. They are finding ways to change Carol's care to find some sort of distraction so that she doesn't have to concentrate so much on the pain. It makes sense to me.

I took Alfie to The Groom Room at Pets At Home at Bletchley, as mentioned above. I left in good time to arrive outside at 12.50 so that I could take him in to be groomed in plenty of time.

The newly-clipped Alfie, straight back from the

grooming parlour this afternoon

Whilst Alfie was in being groomed, I went into the nearby branch of Gregg's and got a roll and a drink and went to sit in the car to eat it. I spent the next hour and three-quarters wandering into some of the shops, including the nearby Matalan store, although I wasn't over-impressed by what I saw.

I eventually went back to collect Alfie from the Groom Room at 2.45. He was so pleased to see me, looking so much better for being clipped. You can now see his face without all that hair in the way and the nasty mess that builds up under his eyes has gone. I took him out of the store, barking madly and we drove home.

Alfie, the Pussycat and Mixed Weather

(Wednesday) I took Alfie out for his walk across Eaglestone Park. We did the full circuit because it wasn't raining. Infact, it wasn't particularly damp, fortunately. We got almost to the completion of the circuit when Alfie spied a cat, minding it's own business, almost asleep, it looked to me. He hared off and went to investigate, but I was concerned that he would chase after if if the confounded creature ran away, but I managed to capture him and put him back on his lead. I didn't fancy having to chase him along the Redway and over the road, otherwise he might have got run over by a passing car, but it didn't come to that. I think he was merely investigating the strange creature, as he would another dog. I don't think he connects a cat out in the park with the creatures who drift in and out of our garden and stroll nonchalantly along the fence, meaning he has to bark to warn them off. In that respect it's a matter of territory. He doesn't want them on his territory, so be barks to chase them away.

(Friday) Quite cold and foggy when I took out Alfie this morning. We didn't do a complete circuit of the park.

Carol is having a blood transfusion today. She texted me to say it began at 7 a.m and is likely to take three or four hours. She has her antibiotics through a drip and they had problems with the cannula in her arm into which the tube is fed. She has to keep her arm straight otherwise the drip will stop because he tube is kinked or crushed. Quite difficult for her to sleep with this drip going and she's being woken at regular intervals for the nurses to give her the various medications she is on, particularly pain relief medication.

Later. 2.00p.m. I got back from seeing Carol on Ward 19 a good deal earlier than usual. She spent a good deal of the morning asleep. On arrival at around 10.00 she was on the blood transfusion and fast asleep. A real wonder, considering all the noise there is on the ward. There's a door which leads into the next ward which bangs shut with a load sound. Nobody is able to go through without it making a noise. Then there's a woman domestic who cleans the ward and when she cleans the toilets, which are nearby, she can't resist banging the toilet seats. How on earth you can do that job and make so much noise I cannot think. Then there are a couple of patients, screams and hollerers who make a noise, then there's people moving around all the time. Not a quiet place, by any stretch of the imagination.

When I got home, because it was sunny and bright, a definite contrast with the cold and fog we had earlier, I decided to take Alfie out for a walk. Poor little dog, shut in all day, it's the least I can do for him. He certainly deserves a treat. So off we went, Alfie barking happily and keen as ever to be let off the lead in the usual place.

Reading and Viewing

I've completed reading the last of the Dominic Sandbrook books, 'Seasons In The Sun', which took the history up until 1979 with the election of Margaret Thatcher. A hefty read, but well worth it. I have now read all his books, from, 'Never Had It so Good', taking in The Suez Crisis of 1956; 'White Heat', which covers the 1964 election which bought Harold Wilson to power; next 'State of Emergency', covering the years 1970-1974 and that followed by 'Seasons In The Sun', 1974-1979.

I really want to find a book which covers the Second World War, but, as yet, I haven't found anything, and then perhaps a book which covers the period directly after the war and into the 1950's which would cover the Clement Attlee government and the foundation of the welfare state and birth of the N.H.S. I think I may have found something on Amazon. I have found books which I wouldn't otherwise have found if it hadn't been for Amazon. At any rate, even going into a traditional bookshop such as Waterstone's (as good as they are) I very much doubt I'd have come across them. It's obvious that a traditional bricks-and-mortar bookshop has limited space to stock every book that might be of interest, so an on-line bookshop like Amazon does have the advantage.

I'm currently reading 'Ripley's Game,' the second of the Patricia Highsmith's brilliant crime series. It's every bit as brilliant as the earlier novel, 'The Talented Mr Ripley.' The detail is amazing and some of the sequences, particularly that one on the train, is like reading a screenplay for a film. She must have done a great deal of research to get it accurate. You can almost feel your are there as you read it. Certainly a book you can't put down. Mind you, it wouldn't work in the early part of the 21st century, what with mobile phones with cameras and Closed Circuit Television everywhere. Or social media like Facebook and Twitter.

What am I watching on television. Good question. Several drama series. The first of the second run of 'The Frankenstein Chronicles', which is on ITV2. Not really what I'd call a mainstream drama series, and probably all the better for that. More aimed at the 18-30 age bracket and not something that is ever likely to end up shown on a Sunday evening at 9 p.m. Gruesome in the extreme. It has Sean Bean in the central role of John Marlott and set in the 1830s, at the time the first of Sir Robert Peel's policemen are on patrol. Not something for the faint-hearted, but it does have a sort of appeal, if you like that sort of thing. At least it has a sort of honesty about it, and considering it must be made on quite a tight budget, it's remarkably well made and acted. There are so many twist and turns of the plot that take you by surprise that it's that element which makes it such a good read. Thriller-writing at it's best.

Then there's a brand new Sky series called 'The Discovery of Witches.' It's based on a trilogy of books by the author Deborah Harkness. It's partially set in Oxford, and considering how Oxford has played such an important part in my life since my heart attack. I can think of no better place for a drama to be set. How many books can you name which are set in Oxford? Well, the first that springs to mind would be the 'Morse' series, which was made into a highly successful ITV series starring John Thaw and Kevin Wateley and then the spin-off series 'Endeavour' and then 'Lewis.' But think of Lewis Carroll and his 'Alice' books, first 'Alice in Wonderland' and 'Through The Looking-Glass,' then C.S. Lewis who wrote the 'Narnia' children's books and of course J.R.R. Tolkein, who was a friend of Lewis, author of 'The Hobbit' and 'The Lord of The Rings.' Both were connected with the university in some way or other (not sure of their exact job-titles.) but they lived and worked in Oxford. The there's the Philip Pullman series 'His Dark Materials' which are set in an alternative Oxford and have been adapted for the stage by the National Theatre and the first of the books made into a not altogether successful film. Coincidentally, the production company which makes 'The Discovery of Witches' is scheduled to adapt the Pullman novels for television, but as yet there's no news of when it's likely to be produced and then broadcast.

As to 'Discovery of Witches.' It started off promisingly, but it stayed sort of static for several more episodes. I was on the point of giving up but stuck with it until episode 5 and I'm glad I did as it has moved in a different direction and I shall stick with it until the end of the series.

I'm also watching 'The Man In The High Castle,' which is on Amazon Prime.  I've been following this since it began in 2015 and it's been worth waiting for the third season of this Philip K. Dick adaptation which has now really got into it's stride and as absorbing as ever. Somewhat chilling (when you realise the concept of the plot, being a 'what if' thriller, of a dystopian nature, imagining what would happen if the Nazis had won World War 2.) Good acting, script-writing and production values. It must have a large budget and the use of C.G.I. is well done and not too obvious.

Then 'Doctor Who,' which began it's latest season two Sundays ago. Lots of changes, with, of course, the biggest being Jodie Whittaker taking over from Peter Capaldi as the first female Doctor. Also, a new show runner in Chris Chibnall. He was writer of the hit ITV series 'Broadchurch' where he would have worked with Jodie Whittaker and another former Doctor in David Tennant. A new broom, introducing new titles for the show as well as brand new theme tune and incidental music as well as several new companions, one of whom is Bradley Walsh. When I first heard that he had been cast in the latest series, I thought it was a hoax, but soon I discovered that it was correct. Certainly  long way from his compere role in the ITV gameshow 'The Chase,' although I'm half expecting Anne Hegarty or any of the other Chasers to pop up in 'Doctor Who' as villains! They've redesigned the interior of The Tardis, giving it a far more organic look. I don't have a problem with Jodie Whittaker. I know there was a lot of fuss when it was announced that a woman would take over as The Doctor, but she's making a perfectly good job of it. There is always some sort of fuss whenever a new actor takes over in the role, so it's perfectly normal when this happens. It will take several episodes before things settle back down. It's important that she gets good scripts and that the villains (monsters) are good (not necessarily 'good' but you know what I mean.) Unfortunately the monsters in the first two episodes have been rather feeble. Just a pity that we won't be meeting any of the 'classic' monsters in this series, such as the Daleks or Cybermen. Perhaps they have tended to rely to heavily on them over the past couple of series and haven't spent enough time and energy creating new, convincing ones to replace them.

Wetter Than ever

(Monday) Alfie, as usual, has been eager to get outside for his customary walk. I had to wait until it was at least moderately light before venturing forth, but he wouldn't have it. I put on my shoes and jacket downstairs whilst he was still in the bedroom, because if he sees me preparing to go out he will start his usual racket of barking. Then he came rushing downstairs after I'd used my G.T.N. spray (I nearly always use this prior to starting a walk or anything vaguely strenuous.) As soon as I went into the kitchen and picked up his lead he went wild and once he was on his lead, which takes some effort to attach to his harness, he goes through this mad-dog act, even getting hold of his lead with his teeth, growling madly and shaking it. Why? But I only have to say the emotive word 'kitchen!' and he stops, if only briefly. It wasn't until I got outside that I realised that it was raining, quite heavily, but had been under the impression that it was dry. I kept on walking, down to the usual place where I let him of his lead, but then decided that I'd only do an abridged version of our usual walk, not the complete circuit of Eaglestone Park, and cut across the central grassed bit and walked back home through the estate. Just not worth us both getting soaked in the process, but even then, having got a soaking, Alfie's coat had become crinkly. It always looks as if he's had a perm with curls all over his back. It takes some while for him to dry out and he runs around the house rubbing himself up against the sofa to dry off.

Alfie is in definite need of being groomed. His coat is currently looking decidedly scruffy, but, with both of our health issues, Carol being in hospital and me having had my recent heart attack, it's been quite difficult to coordinate a booking for him. I will go to Pets At Home at Bletchley to see if I can get him a booking this afternoon. They can be extremely busy, so getting a booking can be tricky, but they do a very good job, not only giving him a lovely wash and trim, but cutting his nails which can get long and sharp and they give his paw-pads a lovely treatment to stop them cracking up and he comes out smelling fresh. I think he loves it, particularly the fact that he gets pampered and made a fuss of. Considering he has to stay at home on his own, it would be good to give him a treat.

(Tuesday) Alfie insisted on going for a walk, as usual. It was well past 7.30 so it was light enough, but it was damp and gloomy out. A certain amount of damp and a chill in the air, but that didn't stop Alfie charging off as soon as he was released from his lead. Never mind, he deserved his walk. I didn't do a complete circuit of Eaglestone Park, but cut across the central grassed area. At least we both got our morning exercise.

It's surprising how many people you see when we're out. Some stop and chat, usually those of my generation, but those younger are always in so much of a hurry or have their faces glued to their mobile phones or else have those crazy ridiculous headphone clamped over their ears that they wouldn't possibly want to communicate. Sad, really. People with dogs often want to talk, particularly if Alfie runs up to attempt to make friends with their dogs.

Later. I have managed to get an appointment to get Alfie groomed. I drove to Bletchley and went to the retail park where Pets At Home has a branch and within it there's the Groom Room, to which both our dogs have been over the years. I was glad to be able to get him booked in for next Tuesday at 1 p.m. So, he's going to come out looking much better than when he went in. His coat is getting very long and matted and has lots of tangles and his nails need trimming and he must find it difficult to see where he's going with the hair over his eyes.

Pouring Rain

(Sunday) Poor Alfie! We couldn't possibly go our for our routine walk across Eaglestone Park this morning because it had been raining most of the night. I keep looking out of the window to see if there was any chance that it might clear, but, no, it didn't so he'll have to wait until the weather improves, but that doesn't stop him watching me like a hawk. I don't relish the thought of getting a soaking, the last thing I want is to come down with a chill of some sort and anyway, Alfie doesn't like getting soaked. He hates baths in particular. Also, he feels the cold and a soaking wouldn't help him either and he takes ages to dry, so it's just as well we didn't venture out.

I got home from the hospital at around 2 o'clock yesterday afternoon and the effect of the earlier flu-jab could be felt. Some discomfort in my left arm where the injection was done and I felt really off-colour. I slept for an hour or so and later at around 6.  I couldn't lay on my left side because of the  pain in the arm where the injection was done. Most of the night I felt fairly awful, and as a result I didn't go to church. But now, at 10.20 I can say I'm feeling a good deal better. From past experience of flu jabs I have usually felt off-colour for perhaps 48 hours afterwards, so this has gone off a good deal quicker than in the past, thank goodness.

The catheter which Carol had inserted when she was in A and E when she first came into Milton Keynes Hospital has come out. I'm not sure how it came out exactly, but we are waiting to see whether the doctors will want it reinserted. Hopefully she won't need it and this should lead to her recovery from the discomfort and pain. There should be results of various test back from the laboratory tomorrow so, when the doctor does her ward-round tomorrow morning we should hear something. Apparently the antibiotics are doing their job and the infection is under control.

It's been damp and miserable most of the day and by mid-morning the discomfort from the flu jab had passed. Not just that, the feeling of sleepiness and total lack of energy, but as I write this (3.5 pm.) I feel more or less back to normal.

When I left Ward 19 I walked out of the hospital and had to go to pay for parking at the machine which is near the entrance to the Cardiology Department. There was a man already there at the machine having problems paying. He had put his ticket into the slot in the machine but it kept rejecting it. The whole idea is that you put your ticket in and the machine calculates how much you have to pay. He did it again, infact several more times. I then said that if I put mine in it would show whether the machine was working, which I did and I had to pay the £4.50 indicated on th digital read-out. The man went off to the carpark with the ticket and he managed to drive out through the barrier using his ticket, so he got to park free whilst I had to pay. There is definitely something wrong with the parking ticket machine if he went through the normal procedure and his ticket worked the barrier without paying whilst I had to pay, somewhat annoying as you can't have free parking at the weekend because the Macmillan Unit isn't open to have your ticket clipped (that is, if you are a cancer patient or a relative.) Such is life!

'Flu Jabs and Wild, Windy Weather

It's that time of year when I have to go for my free 'flu jab. I knew it was coming up and eventually I discovered they would be holding the annual 'flu jab clinic at Ashfield Medical Centre. It would be held this Saturday and next between 8a.m. and 12 noon. I always want to be there as the doors open at 8 so as to get it out of the way as quickly as possible. Alfie was disappointed that I couldn't take him out for his walk around Eaglestone Park, but it wasn't light enough at 7.20 as well as a howling gale lashing the trees outside. I wasn't going to be able to get round the park and back in time to leave for the surgery at 7.45, so he was going to have to wait until I got back.

As I came out of the house and ready to drive off to Ashfield it was bright sunshine over the tops of the houses and a really amazing rainbow across the sky. It was a complete arc and quite unusual because you never seem to see a complete one, probably the end as it touches the ground, but this one seemed to arc over all of Milton Keynes. I rushed back into the house to find my digital camera and attempted to capture it, but it wasn't easy. I couldn't manage to fit the entire rainbow in but i think I got some of it in. Such a rare thing to see and it was gone very quickly so I'm glad I managed to get some of it before it disappeared.

I drove to Beanhill and got to the Ashfield Medical Centre carpark in good time and parked at the rear of the unit. (There is also a dental surgery as well as a Cox and Robinson pharmacy within the block of premises with Ashfield Medical Centre being the largest unit.) I prefer to park at the rear as generally there is more space and it's easier to park and get out than at the front.

As I got to the front of the surgery there were a few people gathering, one lady had an umbrella up because it began to rain. Thankfully the practise manager came to open the door up so we could go inside to wait. I really didn't fancy getting soaked so it was as well we didn't have to wait in the rain, although I don't think it lasted long.

They couldn't begin giving the jabs until 8 o'clock. Would it have mattered if they had? What reason was there to not begin? Some formality or other. I won't ask, being Ashfield Medical Centre. Anyway, they allowed us to register, or at least, report to the reception desk to sign in which would at least record that we were there. Then, to have to sit and wait until 8 before the flu jabs began. I wasn't bothered at all that some people went before me. Who cares? They had tea and coffee to drink before and after you'd been for your injection, but, to be honest, I wasn't bothered. Then the clock ticked over, 8 o'clock and bingo! People were called, or at least there name and which person was doing the injections and which room came up on the digital screen. You'd have thought it would have been in alphabetical order, but no, a sort of random name came up, although, now thinking about it, the names were probably just in the order of people being signed in. About ten minutes later my name came up on the digital display, to go to Room 4. One of the doctors. She asked my name and date of birth (which seems to be the standard way to identify you in the N.H.S.) and I sat on a chair and she administered the injection into my left arm, without me feeling a thing, which should be how it's done and I was out and driving on to Sainsbury's.

It wasn't 8.30 when I got to Sainsbury's store in Witan Gate and it was great to be able to move around the store easily without hoards of other shoppers. Having completed my shopping I returned home and because it had, by now, shown signs of being quite bright outside I decided to take Alfie for his delayed walk, much to his complete and utter happiness. It was quite windy and we came across quite  few bits of twig and benches which had been bought down by the wind. But by the time I came to leave the house to see Carol in hospital the skies opened and it rained, so there was absolutely no way I was going to walk, which was what I had intended. It is, after all, a mere ten-minute walk there along the Redway and it would at least mean I wouldn't have to pay parking (you have to pay, because the Macmillan Unit isn't open over the weekend so you can't get your parking ticket clipped which means you can't get free parking, which is a bit mean.) But by the time I'd got to the park park near Cardiology, which is where I generally park, and then walked in to Ward 9, it had stopped raining and the sun was out!

Stupid Television Commercials

Having spent the other day waiting in the Nuclear Cardiology Imaging Department at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford and having to waste several hours between the various procedures, I had to endure daytime television with some really dire television commercials.  Why do the the people who create this stuff treat their viewers and prospective customers,  with such contempt? Some of these commercials are so crass, it makes me really annoyed? What is that Lloyd's bank commercial with all those people following each other like zombies down to a beach with a herd of black horses roaming about? What are all those horses doing in the first place, just galloping along a beach? They look too fit and healthy to be wild, they are all beautifully groomed, with perfectly brushed coats (presumably) so they couldn't be wild. Why the obsession for that crowd of people wanting to follow without any sort of sense, down to a beach? It just makes absolutely no sense.  Are we to see the flock of people, like the horses on the beach, little more than a herd themselves? Is that what we can infer from this commercial? Can the advertising company who came up with this drivel please explain what it's supposed to be? Does it just tell you that customers of Lloyd's are like a load of sheep, who follow something without asking questions? So, if it's a bank, can you trust them with your money, if you are just a person who follows without asking questions, such as what they do with your money, how they invest it, what sort of interest rate you might get for your cash they have in their care? Are they a safe haven for your money? Are they likely to go bust and then expect to be bailed out by the British tax-payer like they did when the crash came, along with the credit crush, whenever it was, back in 2008? I have to ask theses questions, because that's what that ridiculous television commercial suggests to me.

The BBC had a 'sort of' advertisement. I think they'd call it a trailer 'of sorts.' It couldn't be a commercial on a BBC station as they're not supposed to have advertising. It's for Radio 2, the one with the idiotic woman dancing all over the place, on a table, and she ends up on top of a shelf unit. Do they not think it's a bit reckless and dangerous? How about our old friends Health and Safety? Or 'please don't try this at home?' How about the shelf unit collapsing under her, bringing it down on top of her and possibly killing anyone below, particularly children? Crazy, and incredibly annoying. Why do they have to waste licence payer's money on such pointless, mindless stuff? Does Radio 2 need advertising, and particularly in this assanine way?

How about the awful Go Compare commercial where that idiotic opera singer with the twirly moustache keeps popping up a the most inconvenient moments? Who on earth thought it was a good idea to get you to buy your insurance through this company? Well, certainly not me. That crazy singer would make you want to emigrate. Just really annoying.

Why do some commercials which turn up on television on a regular basis have an ability to make you angry and want to throw things at the television set? Those in particular are the one's which insist on shouting at you, such as the Cillit Bang commercial with a stupid man called Barry. I'm not sure if he's actually the inventor of this product (but why have such a stupid name? Why and how, what is the reason for having such a crazy name for it? Why ON EARTH does he need to shout at you? It is actually enough to put you off buying the product, however effective is at doing your cleaning jobs around the house.

Then there's the Safe Style double glazing commercial where a horrible man shouts at you ' It's buy one, get one free, I said, it's buy one get one free.' He pushes over what look like window frames and is quite aggressive. Again, this sort of in-your-face shouting to sell something is more likely to put you off, to be honest. Just horrible. I do note that their more recent commercials are a good deal less aggressive and not so 'in your face.'

I reckon there's far more to these commercials that meets the eye. Why would you deliberately make the commercial for your company so annoying, such as the Go Compare one? It must be the fact that that idiotic opera singer who pops up with monotonous regularity and annoys people does at least stick in your mind. The Compare The Market advert with Alexander the Meerkat (clever that his name sort of rhymes with 'market.') certainly sticks in your mind. Your are meant to get free cinema tickets if you sign up with them and were, at one point, meant to get s free meerkat toy (although we didn't when we signed up to receive Sky television, broadband and telephone, which was somewhat disappointing. Also, playing on the idea that children are intrigued by the fluffy, silly animated characters (the meerkats) which are playing on people's emotions so that you sign up to get a fluffy stuffed toy. Really annoying and not very ethical, but what do companies like this care about ethics?

Cardiology Appointment at Milton Keynes Hospital

(Wednesday) It was quite foggy when I took Alfie out this morning when we walked around Eaglestone Park. Alfie doesn't quite appreciate that we can't really go out until it's light otherwise we'd be walking into trees and bumping into things we wouldn't be able to see. It's definitely getting dark earlier in the evening and the mornings aren't light until at least 7.15. But, being a dog, Alfie can't really be expected to understand, but never mind. 

I have an appointment at the Cardiology Department at Milton Keynes Hospital at 9.00 a.m. this morning, so I must get to the carpark by at least 8.45. Not really a problem, but the traffic is probably at it's heaviest along Standing Way at that time, so I must leave earlier in order to get there in time. I'm having a echocardiogram done, which I had done at the John Radcliffe Hospital on the Tuesday after I had my heart attack. It only takes about 15 minutes, so I have a good idea what to expect. It's not an E.C.G., which is an entirely different beast. That is an electrocardiogram which measures the electrical activity of your heartbeat.

Currently  my blood pressure is 113/70 mmHg, heart rate 69 bpm and Sp02 96%. The echocardiogram done at the John Radcliffe on 4th September showed a normal LV size and wall thickness and systolic function that appeared at least mildly impaired.

My current medication is as follows:

Asprin dispersible 75 mg.
G.T.N. (Glyceryl Trinitrate 400 mg.
Isoborbide Mononitrate 20 mg.
Lansoprazole 15 mg.
Bisoprolol 2.5 mg.
Atorvastatin 60 mg.
Ticagretor 90 mg.
Oxybutin 10 mg.
Candesartan 4 mg.

I've still got a slight cough which is a side-effect of the Ramapril I was given when I left John Radcliffe in Oxford on the Tuesday after I had my heart attack. But, hopefully, it is coming to an end. It's not as bad as it was, but I do get fits of coughing. As I've stopped taking this medication and gone back to Candesartan it seems to have worked, although Carol said that several of the nurses on her ward have complained of coughing and have said that it might be due to the warm weather we had in the summer and as it's dry and sunny at the moment there is a lot of dust around which might be responsible for coughs, dry and sore throats .

Later. 8.30p.m. Sitting here in the lounge and really waiting to go to my appointment. As I look out of the window it looks quite sunny. Actually the past couple of days it's been remarkably warm and sunny. I suppose it's the time of year when you get foggy mornings and then once it clears you get bright sunny days which are really pleasant but then it can change and be quite cold and it's at that time you need to put on your central heating for a bit of background heating.

I was in good time for my cardiology department appointment and got to the hospital at 8.45 which meant I was able to park the car easily and then walk to the cardiology department which is only a short walk away. I didn't have to wait very long before I was called in by the nurse.

An echocardiogram is fairly straightforward, compared to the other procedure I had done on Monday at the John Radcliffe in Oxford. I had to take off my shirt and lay on a bed. The nurse put some sort of gel on my chest (presumably like KY jelly or other personal lubricant.) I had to first lay on my left side while she put the sensor device on my chest and moved it about several times. After a while I had to move even more to my left and had to hold onto a handle to prevent myself falling on the floor. She pressed the hand-held sensor fairly hard but it didn't hurt. The machine wasn't like the one used on the ward at the John Radcliffe which was portable, this machine looked far more complex. The whole procedure took no more than 20 minutes. The procedure was apparently ordered by the cardiology  nurse who is going to set me up on the rehab course which is hopefully going to start at the end of October and they have to make sure I am in a fit state before I commence that course.

I'm generally feeling well at present, although I know my limitations and if I over-exert myself I know I will only get angina so it's best to walk slowly. I have a tendency to walk too fast, so to avoid pain or other problems it's best to just slow down. I do occasionally feel queasy but I think that's my medication. There are certain side effects that I just have to get used to. I have managed to sort out the cough which was almost certain to have been caused by the Ramapril, which has now been replaced by Candesartan. I do get tired easily, which I have been since my first heart attack in 2006. A relatively short rest on our bed sorts this out, or if I'm out and about a couple of minutes sitting and I'm back to normal. I have to take a G.T.N. spray with me when I'm out and about and if I use it before anything strenuous, then it's a question of using it before an activity. But I know over-use can be a bad thing as I think if over-used it's less effective.

I went to Sainsbury's when I left Carol at hospital this afternoon. It was bright sunshine as I came out of the carpark and it seemed worthwhile to get what groceries I needed rather than going tomorrow morning. I was in and out within barely 30 minutes and it was easier to park when there was plenty of space in the carpark underneath the store.

Having unpacked my shopping when I returned home, I was sitting in the lounge and Alfie looked at me and began to bark loudly so it seemed appropriate for me to take him for a walk as it was so sunny and warm.

Myocardial Perfusion Imaging Test At John Radcliffe

I've mentioned that I had a Myocardial Perfusion Imaging Test procedure booked at the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford today. (Monday) I was taken by James, a good friend at Shenley Christian Fellowship. He wasn't due to pick me up until 12 midday as the procedure was at 2p.m. and it wasn't going to take 2 hours to get to Oxford. Generally, with light traffic it wouldn't normally take more than an hour. I wasn't over-keen on driving myself, due to the stress it was likely to cause and I certainly didn't need any more, what with Carol already being in hospital and also the state of other drivers attitude of other motorists, being tail-gated and generally not being in a fit state to drive that far at the moment. Also, I don't think Carol would have been happy if I had gone on my own. I was ready to leave well before 12 noon. He phoned me to say he'd be ten minutes late. When he got here he had to set his satnav and we left for Oxford.

The journey was relatively straightforward, but still I'm glad I didn't have to drive. We had to stop on the A34 because the satnav wasn't working or something, so James used his mobile phone as a satnav.

We got to the John Radcliffe but then we weren't entirely sure where the department was that I was going to, the Nuclear Cardiology department. The John Radcliffe is an enormous hospital, spread across a really large campus and it can be extremely difficult to find the particular department you need when you don't know the exact layout of the place. Then we had a problem with parking the car, a vast carpark but absolutely no vacant spaces. So I had to get out of the car, having got James's mobile number so we could keep in contact. I went into the main reception entrance and asked at a desk, and was given instructions as to the exact place I should go to, along a very long corridor (why do hospitals always have at least on long corridor? Is it something that the architects work into their masterplans or something, just to keep patients and visitors fit with all the walking?) Even then I didn't know the department was on Level 1, so I had to go down in a lift, which, when I got in one, insisted on going up first before delivering to the correct floor. But then I had to walk a considerable distance before finding the right department although I had to ask at two further desks before eventually ending up where I should have been. I can't say it was particularly well signed, just endless corridors and stairs to reach it.

All the while James texted me. He said he would attempt to park outside the hospital and then, later, said he was going to go to a library. One was going to be closing at 1 o'clock, so obviously no use, and then he said he was going to Bicester, which we had come through on the way over from Milton Keynes, and he said he'd head back to the hospital to pick me up at 5.30.

I reported to the reception in the department and then had to wait in the waiting area, but I didn't have to sit there long because a nurse soon came to get me and went through to one of the preparation rooms where I had to have a canala inserted in my right arm. As usual with me I had to lay down on the bed because I have a problem with needles, usually with giving blood, as you will have discovered if you read my blog posts regularly. The nurse had a real problem finding a vein, and at one point wanted to put the thing in my hand, which I refused. It's not the pain of the needle, it's mostly when whoever is attempting to put a needle in is fiddling around, looking for a vein, try one area, then another, then they tap your skin to raise a vein, it won't work here, then there, they might start to put a needle in, it takes too long, at which point I'm feeling queasy and sick. But eventually the canala was inserted and eventually the radio-active substance put into my bloodstream. My blood pressure was taken, which was low. I don't have a problem with that. I had to remain laying down for a minute or two. I began to feel better and eventually stood up and had to go and wait out in the waiting area for an hour before they could do the fist scan. I was shown what the machine was like,  through a window into the main room and how I would lie on the bed with my head out though the end of the machine as the camera revolved around me. I have to admit I don't like being enclosed in a small space and get mildly claustrophobic as a result.

So, I sat and waited for the hour. I had to drink water, for whatever reason. I could have eaten something, but I wasn't hungry but I currently don't have an appetite. I had eaten earlier, before I had left home, at around 10.45. Some people waiting with me had bought food with them but I just couldn't face a thing. They had a television on to watch, an ancient edition of 'Bargain Hunt' on the Really channel, not a channel I would normally watch, and then what seemed like endless episodes of 'Homes Under The Hammer.' I attempted to read, as I had a book with me, but I couldn't concentrate on it, so I gave up.

When the hour was up (and goodness, how it did drag. Really boring, unfortunately.) I was called in to the next room for the scan. I had my blood pressure taken. I had to lay on the bed within the scanning machine. They put something under my legs to raise them slightly. I think I had pads put on my chest, that connect you to an E.C.G. I had to slide right back and put my head out the other side of the machine and raise my arms and put my hands behind my head. To be honest, I didn't like it. I don't like enclosed spaces. The actual camera part of the machine encircled the whole bed with me on it and my chest had to be under the camera. Fortunately they had music playing, from Classic FM, so as the machine started I could concentrate on that and not on the humming, whirring machine as it kept circling me. Also, the whole procedure took around 10 minutes, not a moment more or a moment less. I had to lay completely still. My arms began to get cramp and I wanted to stretch my legs, but I had to keep perfectly still. Then one of the nurses said that the procedure was over. Thank goodness. The thing began to stop revolving and I was able to be moved down the bed so that I could sit up. I then sat on the edge of the bed and the pads were removed from my chest and I could leave the room, and had to drink water as I sat outside. I was told I should eat something, but I didn't feel hungry and really had no appetite, although someone sitting near me in the waiting room had food with him in a bag and kept eating fruit and other things.

So, another hour elapsed. Again, watching television and being generally bored. Once the hour was over I hd to go into another room. I had to take off my shirt while they connected me to more pads, which went to a computer which showed E.C.G. readings. I had to stand on a treadmill and walk, at first at a slow pace and then they gradually increased the speed. I had to hold on to a handrail, and walk steadily. The speed of the treadmill was increased and I managed to keep walking steadily, but I began to feel a tightness in my chest, but they made me keep on walking. One of the nurses put something into my arm through the canula in my right arm. No doubt more radioactive substance but I think it was more likely something to make my heart beat faster, probably adrenaline, but I'm not sure. I had a stress test done at Milton Keynes hospital in the cardiology department several years ago and they did something similar whilst doing a sonic scan of my heart and the adrenaline or whatever it was made my heart beat faster. I think this new test was similar to that. As I got more and more tightness in my chest they slowed down the treadmill until it stopped, but frankly it was stressing me somewhat and I was relieved when it was over. I know when I'm out walking when to slow down or stop to rest, whenever I feel some tightness in my chest, so it was with this test.

I got off the treadmill and they took the pads off my chest and I went back to the waiting area.

Another hour to wait. Or perhaps a bit more. I attempted to text James, but by now my mobile showed that I had little battery-life in it. I decided to turn the thing off, otherwise if the battery failed I wouldn't have enough power to text James to let him know I had finished and where to pick me up from.

It was well over an hour by the time I went into the room with the gamma camera in it (I've been looking at the literature I was sent prior to going for this procedure and that is what the machine is called.) I had my blood pressure done again. By now (it was around 5.15p.m.) I was heavily sick of the whole thing, feeling really tired (which is an effect of having had a heart attack, so nothing new there.) I had to lay on the bed thing in the machine and my legs were lifted it up with a sort of bolster thing. Not sure why, although perhaps it helps my blood circulate better for the camera. Then I had to put my head back as far as I could out the back of the machine and put my hands behind my head. Again the machine started. But this time the operator left the room. I didn't get far into the procedure, unfortunately. I had my eyes closed as I had the first time round, but then I opened them and saw how close the camera thing was to me and I'm afraid to say on here that I got a horrible panic attack. I just can't stand being enclosed, I've mentioned it on here earlier. I just freaked out and in the process I move my position. I continued with the procedure, but when it had finished the nurse said that because I'm moved it had ruined the results of the scan. I would need to do it again. I explained that I'd had an awful panic attack and the staff did understand. I didn't want to have gone all the way to Oxford for this procedure and then not have it completed successfully. They said to me that next time someone would be with me during the next run with the gamma camera, and it wouldn't be so long, perhaps seven minutes. So, I agreed to have a second attempt and this time it went well, with the nurse talking to me throughout. The earlier attempt wasn't pleasant and I just hope that I don't have to have another scan like it. Just don't like being in enclosed spaces like that.

So, that was the final scan, thank goodness. I packed up my things and had to open up my mobile, which even than had very little battery power. I managed to text James (by now it was about 5.35 p.m.) and attempted to walk to the hospital reception area, where I'd come in earlier. I walked along a really long corridor, expecting it to lead out of the building, but I came to a set of double doors which I couldn't open, it requiring a card to swipe to get it to open, which I didn't have. No doubt a member of the hospital staff would have such a card, but I obviously didn't. I walked back the way I'd come, a long walk, and I wasn't feeling 100%, so it was hard work. I used a lift and hoped I would get back to the level which lead out to the reception area. I eventually got there, James having said earlier in a text that he was now back on the hospital site. I decided to walk out of the building and thankfully I saw his car drawing up down at the road-level. So I got into his car and we began the journey home, arriving back at our house at around 7.15. I was so grateful to James for his kindness to drive me to Oxford and for the successful conclusion of what was a very long and tiring day.

More Confusion Over Surgery

(Saturday) I took Alfie out at around 7.45 this morning. It was quite overcast and there was a damp feeling in the air. It was definitely attempting to rain, but not quite making it. As we got to the grassy area where I let him off his lead, I opened my mobile to text Carol and she'd sent me a text to say she had been told late last night that she was going for surgery in the morning and she couldn't eat anything, 'nil by mouth,' as they say. I was a bit confused, as you can imagine, because yesterday we were told that there was no abscess and that surgery wasn't required to drain it. So, what has changed since? I got home and rang the ward to be told that they were waiting to hear from the surgery team what the situation was. At that time there was no idea of when or even if the operation was going ahead and they now have my mobile number to call me when they have news. There is no point me going in to the ward if Carol isn't there and I've now spoken to her and even she's as confused about the turn of events. So I'll wait until the ward calls me before venturing in, probably at lunch time.

Later. Been texting Carol. It's now gone 11 o'clock and we're no clearer as to whether she's going to theatre or not. Just seems a really confusing time. I want to go to Waitrose but I can't really leave the house until I know exactly what's going on.

Later still. Carol texted me again and the surgery isn't happening. Why are we in this situation? It's the same as yesterday. I decided to drive to Waitrose as planned. I bought some ready individual meals (or individual ready meals. Which is it? I don't know. Which sounds better?) It was raining quite hard as I drove into their carpark. Coming down the slope into the carpark near Metro Bank, you have to be careful how you negotiate the rather difficult turn at the bottom as they've put a sort of yellow sign in the way and if you weren't careful you'd hit it. I think all this is intended to put of anyone who has thoughts of ram-raiding the Metro Bank, which has happened in the past. I don't suppose anyone thought that they have made things easy for those of a criminal mind, because at night nobody would see what was going on near the bank branch or even any of the retail outlets near Waitrose because you can't see anything from Chaffron Way, which is fairly high up on a sort of embankment, unless you happened to live in one of the flats or the houses which are adjacent to the Waitrose carpark.

After I purchased my bits and pieces and stowed them in the car, I returned to avail myself of the café within Waitrose. You used to get your drink free if you ordered food, but apparently no longer. It took the woman in the queue in front of me a long time to decide what she wanted to eat and drink. Why is it some people are so indecisive? I took a  cheese and ham toastie off the display to have heated and also selected a rather nice-looking cake from the display as well as ordered a latte. It seemed to take a long time for my toast to appear, toasted. How long should it take? How long is a piece of string? I drank most of my latte and the cherry slice sat on it's plate, enticingly. But I wasn't eating it until I'd eaten the toasty. The waitress who delivered food to customer's tables came and went, delivering food to several seated customers. But not mine. How much longer was it going to take? It did arrive eventually and it was worth waiting for and so was the cherry slice. 

Carol Having Surgery . . . Or Possibly Not

Carol has been visited by a whole range of different people during Thursday whilst I was with her. She has continued to be in a great deal of pain and for me it's really difficult to see her struggle with this horrible thing and not be able to do anything to help. During the afternoon she was visited by the palliative care team who are involved in managing the pain. Then some of the doctors came and did an examination and decided that some of the pain is due to an abscess that would need surgery to drain to relieve the pain it is causing. In very quick succession, barely 20 minutes or so, a surgeon came to see her to discuss this and it was decided that a further scan would be needed to be able to see how things are shaping which should help the surgeon. We were expecting the scan to be during the time I was with her, but, having been on the ward since 10 o'clock I had to leave at around 2.15. Unfortunately I need to get some rest. Carol was concerned that the scan (not exactly sure whether it's a C.T. scan or M.R.I scan.) would mean she would be in a lot of pain because of laying on the bed they use for this procedure, although the doctor in charge of her pain said that they would give her extra medication to help relieve this, but it would be no use if they didn't know more or less exactly when the scan would be because it takes at least 20-30 minutes before the medication takes effect. 

The surgeon came back with the paperwork for consent to the surgery and this was duly signed by Carol and he discussed further the procedure that would be involved. As I write this (7.35a.m) we're not entirely sure what time the operation will be, but apparently after 8a.m. So I'm not sure exactly what time she's likely to be back from the  operating theatre and, no doubt, awake after the anaesthetic. As a result I will have to contact the ward to discover all this or to get them to telephone me when she's back on the ward.

Anyway, I still managed to take Alfie out for his usual walk (well, it's a walk for me, but more like a trot for him, whilst all of the time he's yapping excitedly.) Yesterday we didn't go, because I just didn't feel 100%. Just one of those days, unfortunately. Nothing bad, just that some mornings my medication can make me feel queasy. A surprisingly mild morning. Eaglestone Park looking more than ever autumnal. The days are beginning to draw in and it's getting dark earlier and the mornings darker, longer. If Alfie had his way he'd be going out in the dark, but it wouldn't be such a good idea, so going out at around 7.15 is a good deal more sense.

Later. 8.50a.m. Carol has now texted me and apparently she's not having the operation. No doubt they've looked at the scans and decided against operating to drain the abscess. Not sure at the moment exactly what's going on and probably won't know until I go into the ward a bit later this morning. All a bit up in the air, as you might expect.

Later still. It's now almost 3 o'clock and I'm back home from being with Carol for most of the day. She appeared to be much brighter than over the past couple of days. We can't quite understand what happened regarding the surgery which had been planned over the last 24 hours. Infact, Carol hadn't eaten since early yesterday because of the expected surgery. She had a  C.T. scan late yesterday evening and I presume the surgeons looked at the results and decided that surgery was unnecessary and wouldn't benefit Carol. They say an abscess didn't show up on the scan. So, I don't know what to make of this. What surprises me is that none of the nursing staff on Ward 19 were aware that the operation had been postponed. It seems there is a communication problem between the nurses and the doctors. Which is crazy, considering it is them who have to deliver the care to their patients on the ward. The pain doctor had prescribed stronger pain relief medication but this will take several days to arrive from the hospital pharmacy, and it is likely that Carol won't get this until probably Monday at the earliest. Which makes it seem rather pointless if they can't get it to her quicker. Just another problem that needs to be ironed out and I can now see why the N.H.S. has so many problems if these sorts of situations arise.

So, amidst all this, no nearer to having Carol discharged from hospital at the moment, unfortunately, but there's no point her coming home until they've got on top of the pain and to be hones, being in hospital is the best place at the moment.

Later still. About 8.30 this evening Carol rang. She said that Dr Saka, the Oncology consultant, arrived on the ward. It seemed quite late, but he is an incredibly busy man and no doubt found it difficult to fit in all his patients, but his office is just below Ward 19, within the Macmillan unit. He will be coming back between 11 and around 3 on Tuesday so I want to make sure I'm there when he comes.

Ward 19 seems very noisy. Not just the patients, but the staff seem to make an incredible amount of noise. There is a door immediately outside Carol's room and each time someone goes through it, it makes a slamming sound. Also, a female domestic was cleaning one of the bathrooms or toilets close by and dropping the toilet seat repeatedly, getting really annoying. Then an elderly patient was walking up and down the ward using a Zimmer frame to walk with and it was making a dragging sound as if the wheels hadn't been oiled in years or the brakes were still on (not that the wheels on a Zimmer frame have brakes, but it seemed like they were locked firmly) Anyway, you would think that a ward would be a quiet and peaceful place where you could rest and recuperate, well, that's what I imagine it would be like. If I remember correctly when I had my first heart attack in 2006 and I was on the C.C.U. (Coronary Care Unit) at Bedford Hospital, I'm almost certain they had at least an hour's quiet. Not that it's ever quiet on any hospital ward, what with staff coming and going and new patients being moved in and out.

Even later. Carol rang me on my mobile at home. She told me that Doctor Saka came to see her on the ward. at around 7 o'clock. She asked him about the new chemotherapy treatment which can't proceed until her current situation is under control, the infection, which is being treated with antibiotics as well as the intense pain. He told her the cancer can be treated successfully and that he would be back to see us both on Tuesday between 11a.m and 2p.m., so I will make sure that I am on the ward when he arrives.

Bonkers Retail

I have been taking something to eat at lunch-time in the ward where Carol is at the moment. I have usually bought a sandwich or roll from the Friends shop in the hospital, but, unfortunately, they haven't always come up to a standard which means I have enjoyed what I have eaten. Usually they are reasonable edible, but generally they are tasteless, the bread dry and not particularly pleasant. A lot of this is down to the fact that everything we have offered us has to be low in salt and sugar, low-fat etc etc. The health fanatics have had a field day, making food really dull and uninteresting. Any effort to make the food we eat, or at least, buy from supermarkets and other retail outlets, has had all the flavour sucked out of it. I know that it's best to eat healthily, but when you can barely taste what you eat, the enjoyment of food is removed. With this in mind, I have endeavoured to find somewhere to buy a snack for my lunch which is at least tasty. There are several choices for me as regards outlets for lunch snacks. First, Sainsbury's, but even there I have managed to drain the well dry, as you might say. You can have a 'Meal Deal' in most supermarkets, where you buy a roll or sandwich and have an additional bag of crisps and probably a drink for a reasonable price, of, say, £2.50-£3.50 or so. Then there's Waitrose, probably a bit more expensive, but with a more imaginative selection, or going further away, Boot's, but they only have a store in the city centre, or at Westcroft or Kingston. Lastly, Marks and Spencer, with outlets at MK Stadium, Kingston or the city centre, but it means quite an effort to get to them, first  drive there and then to park and walk into the MK centre.

With all this in mind, I went to the Kingston Centre in the hope of finding something decent to take with me to the hospital as a snack to eat for lunch. I wasn't intending getting to the hospital too early, just for once. I was going to slow things down as much as possible, particularly because of having my heart attack four weeks previously. No good getting stressed if it means getting myself into a position where I just become ill. No good at all.  I arrived in the carpark and got as close to Marks and Spencer's and Boot's and went into Boot's to have a look at what they had to offer as regards sandwiches. Nothing struck me as in the least interesting, so I left and went into M and S. Could I find their lunch-snack display? Not at all, Usually supermarkets set these sections apart from the rest of their displays so it's easy to spot when you enter the store. But I had to be shown by a member of staff. Actually, quite an inviting display, so I selected a baguette filled with egg and ham, and then selected a bag of crisps and found their cold drinks display, selecting a Belgian Chocolate milk shake and also a Coffee Latte milk shake which I knew Carol would appreciate. But when it came to pay I had fun finding the till. A crazy layout had to be negotiated, because of a sort of maze-like approach. I could see the lady at the till, but how did I get there? Round this idiotic layout. Enough to put off any customer. What on earth is the point of making the place where you have to pay so difficult to find? What is the matter with Marks and Spencers? They're having enough trouble keeping customers or at least getting people to shop in their stores (as many other companies are at the moment, not just M and S.) But this is crazy. Make it easier, not more difficult, for goodness sakes.

I wanted to get something to help relieve the wretched cough I have since I've been taking Ramapril. Well, at least I'm no longer taking it since I was put back on Candesartan. It seems I'm left with the cough which I trust will disappear eventually, but how long I have no idea. I thought Boots would be able to help and went to the counter which stocks cough remedies. There was no assistant to help, although there appeared to be several on the pharmacy counter. I stood and waited a few minutes, but still no one appeared. They could surely see me waiting patiently, but after about three minutes I decided it was no use and left and then thought I'd walk to Tesco's and try their pharmacy. A bit of a walk, but I wanted this thing sorted. I got what I wanted and began to walk out of the store. Carol had asked me to buy her some Maltesers and it just happened, as I neared the exit of the store, I walked past a display which just so happened to have bags of Maltesers in it. I grabbed two packets and decided to use a self-service checkout. I walked towards what I thought were self-service machines and attempted to pay for the two bags. I waved the bags in front of what I imagined was a bar-code scanner, but nothing happened. No sign of the machine springing into life. Nothing seemed to be working. I pressed a key on the screen and suddenly an assistant appeared. It would then become apparent that it wasn't a self-service machine, but a machine to use if you'd been using a scanner to scan your shopping as you walked around the store. I was totally unaware of this, I saw no indication that the machine was for that purpose, and, anyway, thinking about it now, why don't ordinary self-service machines have the added facility for you to use a hand-held scanner. I decided I didn't want to bother to buy the Maltesers and handed the bags to the assistant and left, no doubt somewhat shocked by my rather abrupt exit. But it was more than I needed at that particular time, with enough to think about without having to bother with using one of those machines. It was a further example of company making it very clear what they expected their customers to do and to provide clearer signage.

Autumnal Sunday Sunshine

I hadn't intended taking Alfie out for his routine jaunt across Eaglestone Park, but he kept following me around the house and peering at me in the way he does with the expectation that I might get the hint and actually change my mind. I was even washing up at the kitchen sink and he came in a prodded the back of my leg to get my attention, so, considering the fact that he's being such a good dog and has had to spend so much time cooped up in the house when I'm out, I thought otherwise and did eventually give in and take him out. The sun was making a tentative effort to shine. There was a sort of rosy glow over the tops of the houses as we walked down to the grassy area where I let Alfie off his lead and then a streak of golden light across the path a little further on. Not exactly warm as the air was still quite cold. Well, we are almost into October and there is a definite feel of autumn as well as a look, with drifts of leaves along the paths as we walked along.

We got part-way round the circuit when something black shot across the path in front of us. I thought it was a dog at first, but I couldn't see it clearly. It ran from over near the Redway towards Saxon Street and The Academy. Thinking about it now, there's a small possibility that it wasn't a dog and might well have been one of those small deer that are running around wild. I think they are muntjak, probably escaped from Woburn Park. You see them occasionally if you're driving in the country and I think I've seen them on the occasions when I used to drive to work at Everton and went through a particularly wooded area. Possibly the ideal habitat for such creatures. Anyway, this creature moved fast and, thankfully, Alfie wasn't interested. Just as well, because I didn't want the possibility of him chasing it. Funny little dog that he is, he'll make a commotion if a cat so much as sets foot in our garden, or even a squirrel, but if one comes any where near him when we walk through the park, he doesn't so much as bat an eyelid. Just totally ignores them. Perhaps them coming in the garden is a sort of territorial thing and meeting them at more or less close-quarters doesn't come into the category of anything in the least bit territorial.

We walked on and then, in the distance we saw a lady walking a chihuahua. Also caught sight and had to make friends, but the poor little dog was so nervous, it almost tied it's owners legs up in knots with it's lead, because Alfie, in his excitement at meeting this dog, had no doubt thrown the poor thing into a panic. The lady said the dog suffered with stress, and I apologised for Alfie's behaviour, but she was understanding, thankfully. We walked on, and managed to see them further along the Redway, but this time I decided to put Alfie back on his lead so as not to upset the poor dog.

I went to church at Shenley Christian Fellowship as usual, to the 9.15 service. Nothing untoward happened, except I got a coughing fit during Ross's sermon (poor man, must have really worried him when I collapsed four weeks ago.). Because I couldn't stop coughing, (no amount of cough sweet I sucked would help.) I decided to leave the hall and had to go to get  drink of water. It didn't entirely relive the coughing but I sat out in the lounge area and could hear the rest of the sermon on the Tannoy system.

The cough did eventually settle down. But it's somewhat embarrassing when you can't control it. The Ramapril have definitely left their mark on me. I just hope it wears off, but I reckon it will be a while until it goes completely.