Telephone Troubles

My Diazepam tablets ran out yesterday. I am only given them in batches of 10. This is because they can become addictive and sometimes, if taken regularly, your body gets used to them and they become ineffective. I had to ring Ashfield Medical Centre this morning to at least get a doctor's appointment to either give me a repeat prescription or give me an alternative that have the same effect. They help me sleep and I'm not lying awake in bed at 2.30a.m. with all my problems going through my head, the biggest one being when will the D.W.P. sort out the possible pension that Carol had when she lived and worked in Bournemouth and the fact that I'm not being paid my full rent through Housing Benefit. With this in mind I began ringing at around 8.25 and eventually got through at 8.35. I'm still uncertain what time they are supposed to open the lines, because, before they answer, you just get a sort of engaged tone. Then, when I did eventually get through, there were no more than four other people in the queue in front of me. That infernal music you have to endure has changed, when you are put on hold, and the woman's voice who tells you 'we have a high volume of calls at the moment,' and 'sorry for keeping you waiting,' sounds less angry. Why did she sound so angry to me and similar to the voice of Shula in the BBC radio soap 'The Archers'? Sorry, but to me she does, and it's almost as if this 'voice' has a sort of tone to it suggesting, 'get off my line, I'm busy, and I don't want to be disturbed!' Then I eventually got to be first in the queue and I was ACTUALLY SPEAKING TO A HUMAN! what ever is the world coming to? I explained why I was ringing and then was told I should have rung another number for repeat prescriptions, which opened after 11a.m. Having given my date of birth and then name (I suppose they have to do this, so as to make sure that they're dealing with the right patient and that you don't get someone else's medications and it would no doubt be a contravention of G.D.P.R. (General Data Protection Regulation, yet another E.U.-imposed bit imposed legislation which I bet hasn't been voted on democratically in the E.U. parliament and no doubt invented by some faceless bureaucrat, or am I just being a pessimist?) I said that, because it wasn't on a repeat list, as are all my heart medications, I should perhaps have an appointment with one of the doctors to discuss this, also, how I was coping with taking the Diazepam, any side-effects etc etc. So, at the end of the conversation I was left none the wiser and hopefully going to get a call-back from one of the doctors when she told me that she would pass the information on to the duty doctor who was assigned to deal with appointments, once he or she had heard what the appointment was about.

There's absolutely no certainty at what time the call-back from the doctor is going to be. I can be barely an hour or two, but it was getting nearer and nearer to midday when they still hadn't returned my call. I went upstairs and was laying on my bed when the phone rang and I ran downstairs to the phone in the hall (that is, the landline phone) and picked up the phone, expecting it to be one of the doctors with the awaited ring-back. It wasn't. A foreign-sounding woman with an Oriental sound to it, telling me she was 'from the Windows department' which immediately rang bells, as I could tell it wasn't a curtesy call. I know, from  really nasty experience, that all these calls are a scam, they just want to get into your computer system and hack your details, bank account numbers and so on. I told her I knew it was a scam and told her to get off my phone and all I got back was a load of expletives F you B . . . F you B . . .  F you B . . . which told me all I needed to know, so I immediately put the telephone down. You know the old saying 'once bitten, twice shy,' which is about all you need to know. For a  start, no sooner had she said she was from the Windows department and that 'there's a problem with your computer,' I knew it was a scam because I don't have a Windows computer. End of story.

I had another of these 'scam' calls, this time on my iPhone. I can't see where they get my number, landline or mobile. I don't intentionally give my numbers out and they shouldn't actually be phoning me because I'm signed up to the preference service which is supposed to stop these unsolicited calls. Then there are those calls that, when you pick them up, nobody answers and there's just a long silence until you get this weird 'good bye,' at the end. What is that all about?

Later I got yet another call, from of all people, Sky. They knew that I had closed down my Sky Television account and even gone as far as sending back the Q Box and all the paraphernalia that went with it, including the cables and the two remotes. Sky sent the packaging, very cleverly posted in a flat-pack format and you have to assemble it yourself and use peel-off adhesive strips to keep it all together, along with pre-paid postage labels. But I wasn't swayed by the marketing tactics of the young man on the other end of the phone. I said I now had Freeview and I had no intention of resubscribing, basically because of the cost and the fact that I didn't need even half of the channels. Apart from that, the Panasonic Freeview box I now have is perfectly adequate. It allows you to record and also you can use catch-up with such things as BBC iPlayer, as well as having a dedicated Netflix button and if you look carefully, such things as YouTube and even Amazon Prime video, which means you don't need to set up the Fire Stick which can be quite touch and go whether it will work properly.

Visit to Civic Offices

On Friday morning  I was up out of bed early, around 4.30, because I had a form to fill in for the Discretionary payment.  It had been another overwhelmingly hot night and it was difficult enough to sleep, so I prefer to get everything sorted well in advance of having to deliver it to the office. I had to provide two bank statements, which I had already got from the NatWest and Nationwide when I'd visited the shopping centre the day before. I knew that I wouldn't be able to return until Phil and Robert had come back to finish off cutting the grass and generally tidying the garden. They got here around 9.30 and were gone by 10.45 and I have to say the garden is now looking absolutely amazing. The grass at the rear of the house (I refuse to term it 'lawn') looks stunning. They've managed to take away the cut grass, which was the big problem I had, because the rotary mower I have doesn't pick up the cut grass, so any mowing after a while just clogs up the machine. They were coming earlier in the week but because of over-night rain it was postponed so it's as well that it's done now because we had rain overnight and it would never have allowed the mower to work properly. Robert had problems with the Strimmer, not being able to get it started, for whatever reason, but he used the mower and it looks almost as good as it's possible to get because the ground is so uneven.

As soon as Robert and Phil had packed up their equipment in their car and driven off, and I'd had another look at their handwork (I don't think the garden has looked so tidy as it is currently. It will need rimming on a monthly basis to keep it in tip-top condition. I can expect to get a call from my landlord in the next couple of weeks, and, even when I've virtually sweated blood to clean the house for his visit, he won't notice the cleanliness of the place, but just say 'have you cut the grass?' It's usually an annual visit for no more than 10 minutes.)  I prepared to drive into the centre of town, park in my usual place and the walk through to the Civic Offices (conveniently next door to my bank, the NatWest.) On arrival you have to sign in using a touch screen. I'm no good at operating these machines, but a staff member helped and the machine disgorged a ticket with a number on it, 257. Then I sat down on one of the sofa benches (for want of a better description.) But, no sooner had my bottom made contact with the sofa than I had to over-hear a conversation right behind me, someone venting forth on some issue or other to a younger man. It was more than I could take, more like an episode from EastEnders. I decided to move away and sit on another of the benches. I was struck by how few people there were in the place, because generally, if I have to go in there, you can sit and wait for a couple of hours. I was wandering, when the computer generated voice was speaking, directing customers to various numbered desks, which are arranged in a couple of rows, each with a bright red, digital display above each, and separated from one another by coloured screens in a range of pastel shades, it made me wonder, do Alexa or Siri, the Artificial Intelligence 'assistants' on my iPhone and Kindle, ever get to know this invisible and formless  person? Just the sort of rubbish that goes through my head whilst sitting and waiting. It wasn't long before my number was called by the computerised system and I was walking across the floor to the desk with my number flashing above it. Quite a surprise to be called so rapidly. I had taken a carrier bag containing my iPhone, a notebook and pencil to possibly make notes and other reading material.

I handed over the form and the two bank statements which were required and the lady at the desk photocopied them and handed back the originals and that was all. She said it would be around two weeks before I heard anything and I could ring their welfare department who would be dealing with my discretionary payment. So I bade my farewells and walked out of the office and went into Costa on the way back into the shopping centre and had a ham and cheese toastie and a mango and  passion fruit cooler, just perfect for such a warm day and, from the number of people in the store, I think everyone else had the same idea as me.

Saturday. It has become a good deal cooler, thank goodness. Tuesday was scorching, as I think I mentioned in the earlier post, when I was at Camphill. Plenty to drink is the order of the day when the temperature rises. It rained overnight, but only a light shower. Nothing to get you drenched. This morning I was hoping to get a bit more of a lie in, much to Alfie's displeasure. I lay in bed, just chilling out and then I heard little doggy feet on the stairs. Alfie is quite capable of jumping on the bed if he sets his mind to it, but I have to pick him up and put him on the bed. He settles down and I hope he will sleep, but not Alfie. I soon feel him prodding me with his paw and then licking my arm. It's clear he's attempting to gain my attention so that I get dressed and take him out. I resist as long as possible but then I just cave in and go to the bathroom to have a shave and then dressed to go downstairs, take my medication and get ready to take Alfie out. As soon as I sit in the lounge and put on my shoes, he starts his barking and excited noises. I have to check the back patio door is closed and locked, pick up several doggy bags from the kitchen unit and then attach the lead to Alfie's harness, by which time he's transmogrified into the Tasmanian Devil, barking and yanking at the lead with his teeth. It is then, as I step out of the front door, that I discover that is's raining, even if only a light drizzle. This doesn't faze Alfie as we cross the road and into the alleyway which leads down into Eaglestone Park. I decided not to attempt the entire circuit of the park and cross over between the play area and the climbing wall. A few weeks ago it was discovered that it hd been covered in graffiti, which I noticed a few days ago. Some of it including obscene words. I would have used my iPhone to take a photo of it and put it on Facebook, but, because the language was so foul I decided against it, but looking at this wall this morning it looks as if Council workmen have managed to obliterate the graffiti with paint, or what appears to be paint.

There was another musical evening at the Oaktree Centre, home of Shenley Christian Fellowship. Plenty to eat as well and it's great to enjoy people singing and otherwise showing their talents in this way.

Wingeing Brits

So, we now have a new Prime Minister in Boris Johnson. What really annoys me is that there are people 'out there' protesting that he's Not Their Prime Minister. If that's the case, I'm ashamed of being British. I wish I didn't have to write  this. It's been over three years since the EU Referendum. The legislation to bring about Brexit (hate the word.) has been rejected three times by the House of Commons and as a result lead to the downfall of Theresa May. I have to say I feel sorry for her, as she tried her best. Handed a poisoned chalice when David Cameron resigned after the Referendum result didn't go in his favour and had to have a hissy fit and walk away. After all, he was responsible for calling the Referendum. The result was pretty feeble. Remain: 48.1%; Leave 51.9%. (Sauce: The Electoral Commission.) And what makes me really annoyed, 25,359 rejected ballots. What on earth do people have to mess up their ballot papers, what sort of idiot does such a thing? It could have swung the result  in either direction. What a waste!Why on earth are we leaving the E.U. on such a narrow majority? And what on earth were those 25,359 people thinking by those 'rejected ballots,'? (Meaning 'spoilt, void, null, invalid, and not included in the vote count.') Why waste your vote? It's a disgrace. Think how long it took to gain 'Universal Suffrage,' and even put their lives on the line? Those who don't vote in any election General, Local or Referendum, annoy me because of that effort to allow them to vote.

Come on, we British don't just lie down and and roll over like a stupid puppy! That's not the British way of doing things. We don't give in that easily. We're going to be better off outside the EU, we can manage without being bullied and bothered by a load of bureaucrats, most of them having no democratic power. Just look at the buildings they work from in wherever it is in Brussels or Strausberg, have no windows, soulless places, faceless people, with nothing better to do than come up with stupid directives about bent bananas, cucumbers and, dare I say it, condoms! Making a mockery over such crazy things! I'm neither for or against the EU, it took me a while to decide whether to vote Remain or Leave (voting Remain after a lot of internal wrestling over the subject.) But that's not the point. Let's make the best of this whole affair and hold our heads high. Where's the Dunkirk spirit? But all this wingeing and whining is not a British thing. It comes from the 'Dependency Culture,' the, 'I want it, because I'm owed it!" which is not a British thing either. Stand up for yourself and don't be dependent, be self-reliant wherever possible.

Who was the stupid politician who allowed us to sign up to some half-baked treaty, was it at Maastrich that they imposed goodness knows what on us? The 'Single Currency,' the Euro which, thank goodness we had the sense not to sign up to? Was it John Major or Tony Blair? Creep-fest himself, a real creepy individual, always smiling inanely and as sincere  and slimy as a bucket full of eels. Making loads of dosh going around giving lectures and being paid endless amounts of cash on the side.

On top of this the EU has said they won't alter the agreement for Britain to leave the EU. They are going to have to. I don't think Boris Johnson will let them get away with this. They have to be more flexible. This is the problem with the EU, it's too large and cumbersome. It wouldn't surprise me, once we do eventually leave, than it will fragment, slowly, over time. Us leaving is like removing a brick from a wall or one of those games with tiles or bricks in, Jenga, once it's removed, the wall collapses.

A lot of the problems around all this lie with social media, Facebook, Twitter and the like. People can spend a lot of their time wingeing and moaning on there to their hearts content. It's easy to post this sort of stuff on the internet, without having to face another human face-to-face. This sort of person can do his without having to face the consequences. You can be mean and nasty without actual physical contact. Hence all the cyber bullying and meanness that that entails. End of rant. I don't very often mention politics on here, but at the moment I can't resist putting out my opinions on this, which you will have noticed if you read any of my earlier blog posts.

Going Swimming and More Benefit Blues

I've been attempting to find a local swimming pool so that I can go swimming (well, whatever else do you do at a swimming pool?) We used to be members of DW near the stadium and then transferred to Nuffield Health at  Kent's Hill. I could have returned to Nuffield, but it would be too painful emotionally because of not having  my lovely Carol with me to go with. Also, the monthly charge has gone up considerably to around £44 which I don't intend paying, even though it meant visiting as many times as you want a month. But I don't want to pay a monthly membership but would like somewhere with a sauna and possibly a Jacuzzi which were available to members at both former clubs. A decent swimming pool without a lot of noise and no loud music or children screaming. I looked on line and decided that Bletchley Leisure Centre had such facilities, so the other morning I ventured forth. I haven't really explored Bletchley, apart from when we've gone to Swinton Insurance office that used to be in Queensway, but has since closed down and all their business is done on line.

The leisure centre is in a real maze of streets and you can park in a multi-storey carpark nearby, designed on a sort of helper-skelter principle. I'm not over-keen on this style of carpark. I don't really like parking my car on a slope for one thing and just trust the car's brakes don't fail because you're relying on them to keep the car from moving backwards or whatever. I don't really like multi-storey carparks at the best of times. Anyway, I went into the leisure centre. It's in a real dump of an area and has to be down one of the ugliest approaches to any building. I paid my entrance fee and went into the changing area. You have to put your belongings in a locker and use your own padlock, which I had bought for when we went to Nuffield and it took me some time to remember the combination to open the thing. We didn't want to have keys when we went as it would mean there was the possibility of loosing them which would have been disaster. You change in a small cubicle which has a lock and the whole place looks as if it's in need of a revamp, sort of stuck in a 1970's or 1980's time warp. Not generally too bad, but could be better. Never mind.

Once at the pool-side I realised I had timed my visit totally wrong, because, as it was the beginning of the schools summer holiday it was swarming with children. The pool is divided up into three sections, one for serious swimmers (which is where I wrongly decided to enter the pool, until I was told off in no uncertain terms by a lady who shooed me away from the other end of the pool a bit like a slightly bad tempered primary school teacher. I won't go in that area again. Then I transferred to the main area, which was crowded with children, some with adults, but also a group of teenage boys who spent all their time messing around and splashing one another and generally not considering the other pool users, getting in the way and not being considerate at all. All I wanted to do was gently swim up and down the pool, but their behaviour and the fact that they got in my way was really annoying. One lady of a more mature age race them a talking to, but it didn't seem to make any difference and they continued their anti-social behaviour.

Once I'd left the pool because of the behaviour of those youths and the fact that there was so little space with all the children, I decided to get dried and dressed and then went into the café had a cold drink and a snack and then left the leisure centre and walked back to the car in the multi-storey carpark. When I arrived at my car I found I wasn't able to reverse out because there was a car in the way because the young girl driver was having real problems getting the car to start. No worries. It happens to the best of us. A bit of patience required. Her father was attempting to give advice, she was trying to get the car to start, no success and if you do it too often you probably cause more problems, such as flooding the engine. In the end the only resolution to the situation was to push the car back into the parking space it had come out of (hence blocking my car in so I couldn't reverse out.) which I helped to push, along with another male driver who volunteered his services. Once returned to it's parking space, father and daughter walked off towards the leisure centre. I imagine, with time, the car would start. Over attempting to start it was doing no good and a long rest might mean the petrol would drain out of the carburettor and next time they tried to start it, there would be no problem. Or at least, that was my thinking. Once the car was moved, I could reverse out and go home. 

I had a letter from Milton Keynes Council this morning when I returned from my swim,  informing me that because I hadn't let them know I had been awarded Pension Credit, all of £7 per week, I would have today them back £440. When I last went into the Council Benefits office and spoke to a lady she never once asked to see the letter I had from Pension Credit. I was told that Pension Credit would i form the Council, but it is now quite obvious that this never happened. If I make a mistake (I didn't, but there's no point arguing.) I have to pay. If they make a mistake, the same happens. I just need to know that my rent is going to be paid, full stop. Earlier I had attempted to contact the D.W.P. (Department of Work and Pensions) to try and find out what was happening regarding the matter of Carol's pension from when presumably she worked in Bournemouth. The man I spoke to first told me I would need to ring another number as he hadn't got the information on his computer system, so I rang this new number, to be informed that their computer system was being up-graded which meant they couldn't get into it until later in the day or perhaps the next day. All this, meanwhile, having consequences for my housing Benefit and other financial matters.

I have now written a letter which I intend sending to the Benefits Section at Milton Keynes Council. When I visited them later in the morning, having received the letter about having to payback over-paid benefits, I was told that I might get what is called a Discretionary payment to pay some of my rent, so I have this morning filled in the form and will take it to the Council later today.

It's Too Darn Hot!

(Monday) Nothing much to report today. I went to the Willen coffee morning in the restaurant at John Lewis. I was the first to arrive and thought that I would be on my own, but people began to arrive around 10.10 and quite a few people were away, presumably on holiday. I obviously couldn't go last week because of going to Worcester to see my new grandson, Arthur.

Tuesday. It was a hot and clammy night, but I did manage to sleep. It's supposed to be hotter than ever tonight, but I can always read and have plenty to keep me occupied.

So, by lunchtime we should hear which of the two Conservative contenders in the leadership contest wins and becomes Britain's next Prime Minister. It would appear that if Boris Johnson wins there will be a wave of resignations. I'm not convinced that whoever takes over will manage to get  deal with the EU so Britain leaves on 31st October. It all seems just jostling for position, just attempting to further their political careers. As most of them when to fee-paying schools, they don't have the least idea how the ordinary folk live and survive. It's down to the 'man on the Clapham omnibus,' who probably couldn't care less about whether we're in or out of the EU.

4.30 p.m. I've just come in from a day at Camphill. It has been one of the hottest day so far this year it's over 35 C, but as that doesn't mean a great deal to me as I'm still in Fahrenheit. And to cap it all Boris Johnson has won the Conservative leadership election and will become Prime Minister in the next few days.

The traffic going to Camphill this morning was easier than usual. I imagine that it's because schools are now on holiday. None of that awful aggression I've had to endure going along Chaffron Way and Brickhill Street, although the traffic was quite heavy at the roundabouts at Childs Way and Portway.

Quite a few of the drama guys were either on holiday or had appointments elsewhere so it was a bit thin on the ground. Paul, who is Teo's assistant (not sure he is actually, but never mind.) managed to get a check-in from those who had turned up (actully quite late, probably because it was so hot.) This is how each session starts off, which each resident telling us all how they're feeling and even as a support or permanent member staff you have to give a brief account of yourself. I was quite overwhelmed by how everyone greeted me after what happened to me last week and it shows how much they care for each other and members of staff. Such a lovely place to work at and I'm touched when they showed so much concern, but I explained what had happened and that it wasn't heart-related and trying to explain how the pain I experienced in my chest was difficult to differentiate between an angina attack, a bout of heart-burn or indigestion (which it was) and a full-blown heart attack, so that should it happen again I'm able to explain to a first-aider or paramedic what is going on.

With those in the drama workshop group available we did a line-run of Three Little Pigs: Stranger Danger, with the lines of those not present read by the two workplace students who are working with us, one from Japan and the other from Brazil. It's fantastic that Camphill is such a multi-cultural place and also that people are prepared to come to Milton Keynes to work there (as well as other Camphill communities within the United Kingdom.) Later, we watched the video of Stranger Danger, more for the benefit of the two students, and then the intention was to get them to ask the actors who appeared in it what it was like working on the video, the different styles of performance required between making a video and performing a 'live' play. The idea being that Paul was making notes on the iPad and the residents comments would be useful when their reviews were due and could be incorporated into any written documents. We were having a great discussion with the guys about how the play was created, where the inspiration came from, where it was going to be performed 'live' and Teo had the idea to get the two girls to teach some of the actors to speak in their respective languages, either Portuguese or Japanese, by getting them to choose their favourite line and then to have it translated into whichever language and then to repeat it word by word. It was surprisingly successful and it showed an amazing level of potential from each of then actors and to me proves what a level of concentration they have and how difficult it must be for some of them to be able to stand up and speak as well as remember their lines when they have so many difficulties of their own.

The Chrysalis Theatre at Camphill is used by many different groups, not just residents at Camphill. Some of them help backstage and also appear in shows produced by various drama groups. It is also hired out for other groups for conferences and meetings. Later in the week there is to be a conference of local teachers which will focus on educating Primary School children about healthy eating. As a result of this, there was a fair amount of work to be done, organising equipment and unwrapping some of it, which is what we did for some of the time on Tuesday. Some of the teachers involved in organising this event came to speak to Teo and were there to arrange how things were to be set up and we helped with some of the work later in the afternoon.But the heat didn't help.

Wednesday. It was a hot and clammy night and as usual, even with the windows open, not easy for me to sleep. Alfie doesn't like it as hot as this and finds it difficult to settle down and kept wandering up and down stairs. I haven't been out except to Sainsbury's for some salad bits for my evening meal and some more fruit as I'm attempting to eat as much as I can.

Cutting Costs

Since my lovely Carol passed away in December, my financial situation has been in meltdown. You may have read in my blog posts about my situation regarding Housing Benefit and Teachers' Pensions as well as more recently Pension Credit and the fact that the D.W.P. had discovered that Carol had paid into a pension when she worked in Bournemouth. Still no response regarding all this but those people for work for these government departments work slowly. (One speed, slow and stop.) But elsewhere I have managed to reduce my outgoings, Anglian Water have cut my bill to an amazing £6 per month and I recently ditched Sky television. I now have a Panasonic Freeview box which does virtually the same as a Sky Q box, including being able to record television programmes as well as having catch-up services such as BBC iPlayer, ITV Player, ITV Hob (is it called ITV Player? I don't know.) as well as the Channel 4 catch-up service. No real difference in picture quality or any loss or anything-quality and, frankly, I don't miss Sky in the slightest, except possibly the amount I paid per month. I am still with their broadband, nothing changed there, and it's around £28 per month, and also I have Sky Mobile, which I set up around 4 months ago, with a brand new iPhone 7 and my monthly bill for that is an amazing £19.50 and they doubled my data usage for the same price, which can't be bad. Also, at the end of each month, any data that isn't used can be saved and either added to the next month's data or can be cashed in for accessories for your mobile, which is one of the reasons I chose to move to Sky Mobile.

The last thing that needed sorting was my car insurance. I knew it was about to need renewing. Then I got a letter in the post marked Swinton Insurance, the company which I have the motor insurance with. Last year's premium was just over £1000 and this year the just under half of that, with a monthly payment of around £48. Which pleases me, as you can imagine.

Then earlier in the month I got a telephone call from SSE, and they can reduce my yearly payment for gas and electricity by around £300. Being on a pay-as-you-go meter system it means you never get behind with a bill and can see from the meters how much you are using, but I would like to have a smart meter because you can see how much power you are using and also pay via an app or on-line rather than having to top up at a shop. But, as you will know if you read my blog posts, that I've had two companies say they can install a smart meter but when they arrive at look in the meter cupboard, they say they can't go ahead because they would need to drill a hole through into the house, basically because the gas meter is on the outside, in the meter cupboard, whilst the electricity meter is on the inside of the house. Why on earth were they not put together in one place? It makes life difficult if the gas runs out in the winter, you have to go outside with the step stool and a torch, especially when it's cold and dark, and it's quite an effort to then put the card in the slot in the meter and go through the process of checking the amount left on the meter etc etc. But the work has to be done by my beloved landlord who doesn't want to spend any money on anything in this house, and that would include dealing with the smart meter.

I have now learned that my current tariff includes what is called Economy 7, which means that the cost of electricity is a good deal cheaper over night, which I never knew. Which means in the long run it would be cheaper to do my washing at night and hopefully save quite a considerable amount on my electricity bill. Goodness knows why I haven't discovered this fact until now I have no idea. 

A Slight Glitch

I went to Camphill as usual on Tuesday. Teo, the drama leader (if that's his title, I'm not sure.) so Paul was in charge. We started off in a circle of chairs to do check-in which is done at the beginning of each session. A good way to find out any problems with the residents. There weren't. A couple of new faces from the support staff who I haven't met before. Then we did a line rehearsal, making sure that the actors put in as much effort as possible and standing up to deliver their lines. Then we split up into two groups to do work on various sections of the play. Some of the residents were away, mostly on holiday, so some of us support staff read in for them. Then we showed each other what we'd achieved during these sessions. Extracting as much comedy out of the piece as possible and some of the residents concerned that when Teo comes back next week he won't appreciate what we've done.

Then, in the final ten minutes before the lunch break at 12 o'clock we were doing more wolf and piggy movements, getting as much as possible out of this.

Then we broke for lunch. I have been taking a pack-up for lunch for the past few weeks. I have used the café on a couple of occasions, and, although it is very good, it's vegetarian. I don't have a problem with that, but I find their menu a bit limited. Not a very wide selection of food that I would want. I really don't want a full-scale meal, just a roll or sandwich. I did have a toasty on a couple of occasions but as I say, the menu is a bit limited, which is the reason I take a pack-up, usually a sandwich, which I make the evening before, an apple, banana or other piece of fruit, yoghurt, a packet of crisps and sometimes an oaty, churchy, biscuity thingy. I forget the name, crazy I know, but when the name of these items comes back to my memory, then I'll put it on here.

As I sat and ate, I suddenly got a really bad pain in my chest. I didn't immediately think much about it and went on eating and drinking. A cold fruit drink in one of those cardboard cartons with a straw stuck to the side which you have to carefully peel off and then stick in the hole in the top and which then means, if you're not careful, the juice squirts out. This discomfort didn't go away. Then I began to think 'is this an angina attack?' which means I use my G.T.N. spray (glyceryl trinitrate) which I always carry around in one of my pockets, either in my Regatta jacket or my trousers pocket, for such an eventuality as this. Three sprays under my tongue and then wait with your mouth closed for around five minutes, usually sitting down until the spray takes effect. On this occasion it didn't. The pain didn't go away. I had moved from the foyer area into the hall, the main body of the Chrysalis Theatre. I sat on a chair. It was at this point I began to panic slightly. I'll be perfectly honest and say that it's incredibly difficult to differentiate between an angina attack, a bout of heart-burn or 'reflux' and an actual heart attack. I can't explain the differences, but they are definitely similar. With an angina attack you know if you exert yourself a quick burst of G.T.N. spray it is going to go off after around five minutes; with heart burn it generally goes off after a while, the discomfort usually goes if you use a medication such as Zantac or even peppermint capsule. With a heart attack you get a pain which centres in your chest and spreads out to your arms and probably your legs, you sweat and your heart rate increases. I had neither the angina sensation or the angina sensation, because I had used the G.T.N. spray and it hadn't worked. Also, with the G.T.N. spray you get a sort of head rush (not unpleasant) and it's no use using it again as it's use won't have such a profound effect. When the discomfort hadn't subsided I asked someone to call an ambulance as I was in by now a bit of a panic.

The ambulance arrived within about 15 minutes. I wasn't timing it, but it soon arrived. The paramedics ran through the whole situation, from the moment the discomfort in my chest began through to how painful it was, as they always do, on a scale from 1 to 10. It started at about 8 and by the time they took me off in the ambulance it was around 4. They went through my medications and did a finger-prick blood test. Much as Carol would have done when she had to test her blood sugar because she was diabetic. I don't like it, but it was over quickly. I suppose it shows basic things in a test that can then be relayed to the awaiting doctors at A and E. By the time I got to A and E it had virtually disappeared, which reassured me that it wasn't actually heart-related, but they still took me to check me out. They did an E.C.G. as I sat in the theatre and gave me an aspirin tablet to start sucking and then to swallow. It didn't taste as unpleasant as they can sometimes taste, a sort of mint flavour. Certainly not the horrible taste of G.T.N. spray. I had to take my lunch box with me in the ambulance, all packed up and leave my car in the carpark at Camphill. I was concerned about loosing the car keys which were actually safely zipped into one of the pockets in my Regatta jacket.

I was surprised how quickly we got to Milton Keynes hospital. When you're in the back of the ambulance you can't see out, see exactly where you're going, which was the case after my second heart attack in September last year. You're obviously aware that you're moving, but you can't see any scenery as you are speeding along the road. At the A and E entrance I was transferred onto a wheelchair and taken ito the unit and the paramedics handed over the information about my incident. One of them had been writing up  notes on a sort of touch screen tablet computer, so I imagine that links into the computer system at the hospital and no doubt they could see my notes from past hospital visits rather than use a paper system, because I was soon issued with the obligatory wrist label with my name on it along with a bar code which the nurses use to identify me before doing any observations which include temperature, blood pressure and so on. The paramedics asked me if I was allergic to anything (which I'm not, fortunately.) and a list of the medications which I'm on, which I'm able to reel off without any problems. Also, I mentioned the stunts I had fitted in the John Radcliffe in Oxford and other details of my two heart attacks.

Once my information was handed over to the A and E staff I was put in one of the cubicles and lay on one of the trolleys, making sure my belongings, my jacket and lunchbox, were somewhere near by. I had my mobile phone and was able at a later time to text Garry, my neighbour, and ask if he could go into my house and feed and water Alfie and make sure he could get out. I later got a text back from Shelley to say she would do this as Garry was at work. So, at least I knew that Alfie would be fine. Garry and Shelley have a key which they've had for quite a while just in case of an incident that I'm now describing.

More 'obs' done. I was left for a while in the cubicle. A lot of staff scurrying about. Not particularly busy. I would imagine it would be busier in the evenings and more than likely at the weekend. A nurse comes in and says she's come to take blood. Not what I like to hear, particularly as I have an aversion to needles (if you've read any of my previous blog posts you will know why.) She manages to find a vein in my right arm. I keep my eyes tightly shut and the slight sting as the needle goes in is slight, but at least she has taken sufficient blood for it to be tested. It's supposed to show up if you have had a heart attack by a substance which is in your blood called triplin. Then I was carted off on the trolley and parked around the corner near the X ray department. I wasn't sure whether it was just to move me out of the way because they wanted my cubicle or whether I was going to have an X Ray. Someone was wheeled out and I assumed I was in the queue and then I was wheeled in and had to sit up, with this board put behind my back and an X ray was done. Over and done and wheeled out. Back to the cubicle and before I knew it, a doctor was closing the curtain around me (not that it would have made a lot of difference because you can still hear conversations with other parents, but I suppose it's to give a certain amount of privacy. I was informed that nothing showed up  in either the blood test or the X ray that suggested I'd had had a heart attack or anything heart-related. He asked me about my previous heart attacks and the sequence of events that had led up to the incident at Camphill, what medications I was on and so on. Fortunately I can remember fairly accurately what meds I am on and the list is on my iPhone. After that I was allowed to walk to a waiting area. Nowhere to lay down, just a couple of chairs that would allow you to lay down, but not particularly comfortable. I suppose if they had discovered something more serious, then I would have been able to remain on the trolley in the cubicle, but because it wasn't serious, I was expected to sit in the waiting area. I then was told that, because of my history of heart attacks, they would need to keep me in the unit for a further 6 hours and then do another blood test, just to make sure that there was nothing more serious going on.

I had my iPhone with me. I fortunately had the Netflix app installed and I was able to watch an episode of Upstart Crow, the sitcom based loosely (and I mean loosely) on the life of William Shakespeare, and that followed by what must have been the first episode of 'Porridge,' which I have seen several times before, but which stands the test of time brilliantly. Unfortunately I didn't manage to see to the end because the battery of the iPhone died and this meant I was left stranded with nothing to read and absolutely nothing to watch. A mother and daughter came in and sat opposite, paying a game on a tablet or mobile phone, and I attempted without success to snooze, but the chair I was sitting in, although it tipped back so I could lie down, was very uncomfortable and not really designed to allow me to sleep or snooze. Boredom crept in by now. By 7p.m. I would be able to give a further blood test, by time ticked by. I think it was time for the shift hand-over. I could see staff coming and going. There was a door which kept banging shut every time someone entered or left the A and E unit. If I needed the toilet I had to go through this door and the only way back in was to press the button to release the door (going out) and wait until and member of staff went through, using a swipe card to release the door. I asked a nurse when I was likely to have the blood test, being told it was necessary, six hours after the first (it certainly seemed longer.) Then a nurse came in to do take blood but couldn't find a vein in my arm. I have narrow arteries. This has always been a problem. She made an attempt at taking blood, but had to give up and got another nurse to attempt and after a while she managed to get a vein and took the necessary amount to be sent for testing. At last! I could see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. The final hour ticked by, and at around 7.45 a doctor came in and asked me to join him in a near-by office. He told me the results hadn't shown any signs of anything in the least heart-related and the pain I had experienced was most likely caused by heart-burn or acid reflux. A relief and it was really as I expected, but they had to follow the correct procedure in case it had been a heart related pain. Which meant I could leave, although I had to walk the relatively short distance home along the Redway, which takes about 10-15 minutes.

I went to Shelley and Garry's house to tell them the good news and Shelley said she had been next door to let Alfie out and took him for a walk, which I expect he would have loved. I cooked a plate of chips because I wasn't in a fit state to cook anything else at that precise moment. Oven chips and Heinz tomato ketchup was just the thing I needed after my several hours in the Accident and Emergency department. I was annoyed in some ways, because I was never offered anything to drink or eat, even a cup of tea would have been nice. I didn't have any money on me, so I couldn't have bought even a Mars bar out of the vending machine in the main waiting area of the A and E department. When I was taken to the John Radcliffe back in September after my second heart attack I was at least given a sandwich and a cup of tea. I appreciate that the staff are busy, but it would have been nice to have been at least asked. Just glad it all had a positive end. I think Alfie was more than pleased to see me when I walked in the front door of the house.

The following morning I rang for a taxi and drove to Camphill to collect the car, being surprised that it cost £6 for the privilege. 

A Wet Morning

Thursday morning. I got up as usual and was in the process of taking Alfie out as I normally do. I had my jacket on, because even though it's late July, it can be quite chilly first thing in the morning. I had everything ready, with Alfie on his lead, but as soon as I got outside with him I realised that it was raining. Not particularly heavily, but enough to get a bit of a soaking, so we ended up returning indoors, much to Alfie's displeasure. I wasn't risking a soaking, of either him or myself. I needed to ring Ashfield Medical Centre to get a repeat of the Diazepam, as I had but one final tablet to take tonight. I could take Alfie out once I had rung the surgery.

I managed to get though to Ashfield Medical Centre in record time. I don't think there was any sort of queue even though it was gone 8.35 when I eventually got through, but I was told that today was protected time after 1p.m. so a doctor was unlikely to ring me back to arrange an appointment, but that my repeat prescription would be sent directly to Lloyd's pharmacy at Sainsbury's, so I should be able to collect it from there tomorrow.

Something amused me this morning, after the slight rainfall we had earlier. A squirrel came into the garden, hopping off the fence and approaching the bird feeding station. It gave a glance at the house, almost as if it was expecting to find a camera set up to take it's photograph. It then attempted to climb the central pole that supports the feeding station, but because the thing was wet it couldn't get a grip and began to slide down! Looked very amusing and this may be the answer to the problem of keeping these little blighters off the feeder, put something greasy on it and they can't climb up. More likely, just slide down.

Going To Worcester

Since I have been keeping the bird feeders on the feeding station replenished, our old friend Cyril Squirrel has been making an appearance. Even though he shouldn't be on the feeding station and I should really make some effort to remove him, however I manage to do that, probably by merely opening the window and shouting, I can't be be entertained by his antics. But how do you remove a squirrel from a feeding station? You can get a sort of disc that goes around the central supporting column but it would be difficult to fix. Then there's the crazy pigeon that attempts to sit on the structure and is far too big and seems to find it difficult to balance on the think. It doesn't have a lot of sense and in the end it just gives up and flies away.

Sunday. It's to such a bright and sunny day today, but still quite pleasant. Infact, I think I prefer it like this. If it's too hot I can't cope.

I've been out early to put diesel in the car, well before 8 o'clock. Virtually car-free on the way, which is the whole purpose, none of those idiots who insist on tail-gating. Shell have a new loyalty system and I have the app on my iPhone. I don't know if it's as good a system as the old one but after 10 visits you get money off your fuel, so it may be worth the effort to use. BP have done the same and given up Necar for their own system.

Monday. A not particularly bright and sunny day, but it did get warmer as the day progressed. I was ready and waiting for John and Margaret to arrive at exactly 10 o'clock this morning as they were driving me all the way to Worcester to see my new third grandson, Arthur, who was born four weeks ago. We drove out of Milton Keynes but going in a slightly different direction from the route I would have driven if I'd gone myself, up the A5 and across to Buckingham whereas I would have gone via Standing Way, but actually not a lot of difference as we still ended up on the M40 and then M5. I was surprised how quickly we got to Claines, which is part of Worcester, the remaining couple of miles being directed by the use of the Google Maps app on my iPhone.

Chloe in the garden hanging out washing and Steve was at home. We had lunch sitting at the table in the garden, salad and quiche and then Chloe got baby Arthur who had been having a nap when I arrived. Still very sleepy when she bought him down for me to see in the garden and given a chance to hold him. The other two, George and Eddie, were at playgroup and wouldn't be home until around 4.30 so I would be unlikely to see them as John and Margaret were coming back at 3 p.m. for the return journey back to Milton Keynes.

Sure enough, almost exactly at 3 there was a knock on the door and Margaret came in to say they were back, having been into the centre of Worcester. So, I bade farewell to Chloe, Steve and baby Arthur and we got in the car and drove home to Milton Keynes, arriving back just before 5p.m. I was surprised by the fact that we had left Milton Keynes at 10a.m. and driven all the way to Worcester and got home at 5p.m. I don't know exactly how many miles it was for the round trip, but it must have been a fair distance and I'm still so grateful to John and Margaret for taking me all that way. As babies grow up so fast, it was great to see Arthur as such a small baby. Probably the next time I see him he will have changed considerably, as is the way with babies.

All Sorts

I'm really overwhelmed that two people I know, who are doing the Church Course on Thursday evenings have offered to drive me all the way to Worcester to see my new Grandson, Arthur. It's arranged with my daughter Chloe, and I'm going next Monday. Really looking forward to going.

The medication I had last Tuesday when I went to see the doctor, has now run out, so I've had to make another doctor's appointment this morning. Fortunately it didn't take that long to get through on the phone, but I'm now sitting here waiting for a doctor to ring and arrange the appointment.

Later. I was actually quite surprised by how quickly I got a doctor's call. I didn't have to go into the surgery to have a face-to-face appointment. The prescription for Diazepam was sent electronically to Lloyd's pharmacy in Sainsbury's, so I made a trip there as I had a few items I needed for my pack-up lunch which I will take with me to Campbell tomorrow.

I had texted Chloe about me coming to visit to see grandson Arthur. Chloe has soon responded and I'm going next Monday and will be there around midday. I'm not likely to see George or Eddie because they will be at playgroup. I will be able to take Eddie's birthday present which I had all wrapped up ready but was unable to take because I couldn't go two weeks ago.

Wednesday. I went to Camphill yesterday. I left to drive there a good deal earlier than I would otherwise and I'm glad I did. The pinch-points at the roundabouts along Brickhill Street, where there is usually heavy traffic heading into the centre of Milton Keynes are difficult to cross and made more so when you have a driver close behind you who has no patience and would happily see you crash into one of the vehicles negotiating these two roundabouts, on Childs Way and Portway. One miscalculation and you'd get run into, which is something I don't intend to do, but it is quite stressful and not good when you have a heart condition as I have. I sometimes think that if they were to just install traffic lights at these points, the other one being on the Saxon Street/Standing Way roundabout, then it would make life easier and safer, probably just at those times such as early morning and evening. But I imagine to just suggest it would not go down with a lot of drivers, probably those who love to tail-gate other drivers and drive excessively fast. The driving speed around the Grid Roads of Milton Keynes needs to be lowered to around 50 M.P.H.

We spent the morning being split up into groups to continue with Stranger Danger. I was working with one of the students who work with us as support, attempting to get two of the residents to really push things further to find the comedy in the piece, going over it several times, with me reading the lines of one of the residents who wasn't with us. We were working in what they call The Crypt, and not in the main theatre, because they were setting up the lighting for a show that was being put on in the Chrysalis (the name of the theatre at Camphill.) Once we'd spent around 30 minutes on this rehearsal we then went back to the Crypt to show to the others what we'd done and it was remarkable how, with a bit of effort, we could get laughs where possibly there hadn't been before. After lunch there was a training session for the residents on food safety and handling. Probably I've done this several times before, and we spent quite a lot of time shifting chairs and tables, the result of which really made me very tired. Possibly that and the effect of the new medication I'm on. They then had a community assembly after the trining session, but I didn't stay because I was feeling totally washed out. A pity, but perhaps on another occasion I will stay to see what this entails.

This morning I couldn't get the Freeview box to respond. I kept getting a 'No Signal' message. I couldn't see how to resolve it until I thought that perhaps it needed re-tuning. This usually happens at night. So, I managed to do this and now it's working perfectly. As a result of not having the Freeview box working I couldn't see BBC Breakfast, but, honestly to goodness, with the constant news about Brexit, I think I am better off not watching.

Later in the day I managed to upgrade the Freeview box. Often, when you start it up you get a message that says, 'upgrade now,' because there's new channels which are added. So you press the 'OK' button on the remote control and the thing does it's thing and then another message says 're-ordering channels,' and that's what it does. Not such a problem, but it does it so regularly that you have to let it 'do it's thing.'

Sunshine Is Good For The Soul

It's another of those beautifully bright and sunny July days which really lifts your spirits. Having taken the Diazepam tablet last night, I had yet another really good sleep and didn't wake until gone 6 o'clock. I think Alfie is gradually adjusting to my new routine of getting up later and later and we didn't get out until a little before 7 a.m. I am a little bit concerned that there are far more cars parked along Golden Drive and even a few traffic cones. I have an idea that these cars may belong to employees of the hospital which is just behind this house. I do hope it doesn't mean we're going to get more employees parking here as it's getting a bit crowded. I have no complaint about this issue, but if it means that Eaglestone residents don't have space to park then it is a serious issue. What does annoys me is when people insist on parking across the footpath. It's difficult to actually differentiate which is road and which is path for pedestrians and it's a bit unfair that you have to walk into the road when a car is in the way. Some cars even park on the grass, which is eventually going to destroy this feature along the roadside because this area isn't designed to take the weight of a car. It would be alright in the summer, when it it is dry, but when it rains or there's snow and ice it is going to cause more problems and merely churn up the grass and create mud.

I had decided to go into the Council offices and discover whether they had heard anything from the DWP (Department of Work and Pensions) with regards my Pension Credit. I wanted to get there as soon as I could after they opened at 9 o'clock. I was daring when I wore my shorts! It has been hot enough to wear them. I parked the car in the usual carpark near The Point, using the RingGo app to pay. It actually worked, but I had a pocket-full of £1 coins just in case.

I walked into the shopping centre and then out the opposite side near Costa and near Marks and Spencer and on arrival in the Civic Centre I had to first sign in using one of the touch-screen terminals. I couldn't get the one I used to work so I had to ask a member of staff and then got a ticket from the machine with number 204 on it and went to sit down and wait. I was surprised how few people there were in there. I imagine most people would arrive later or simply couldn't get out of bed. I had bought my World Wildlife Fund reusable bag with me, containing reading as well as writing material. But my number wasn't long in appearing on the digital screen and the automated voice spoke out the number. No doubt this is for those whose vision isn't very good and I walked across to the desk. I explained to the lady behind the desk why I was there, to find out if they'd had any notification from the D.W.P. about my Pension Credit claim. They hadn't. Then I asked her about having my Housing Benefit paid directly into my landlord's bank account. She tried to persuade me against this, saying it was only done in exceptional circumstances and I was adamant that I wanted this. She said that it would require a signature from my landlord and she went away to find the relevant form for me to fill in. As it is about the time when I get a visit from the landlord and his wife, once a year for a mere ten minutes, it would be then that I would get him to agree to the Housing Benefit going directly into his bank account. I also learnt that the next payment of Housing Benefit (which should be to cover the entirety of the rent.) is on 22nd July. By which time I should have heard via the D.W.P. regarding the newly-discovered pension that Carol had when she was living and working in Bournemouth (which is going to effect the amount I receive from the Council.)

A Little Bit Of This And That! (And in some cases, 'Little' being the operative word.)

(Wednesday)I've been for my appointment with the counselling lady at Macmillan at Milton Keynes Hospital. The appointment was at 2 o'clock yesterday afternoon. It's no more than a 10-15 minute walk away, which is fortunate as if you go in the car you only have the annoyance of finding a parking space. I notice that they are well on the way to completing the new cancer care unit which is being built on what was the staff carpark. It is supposed to be opening at the end of 2019. I remember when Carol was in one of the wards at the hospital we could see workmen staring work on I think what turned out to be the multi-storey carpark for the staff, so, thinking about it now, it was obvious that they would need to build that before starting work on the cancer centre, otherwise there would be nowhere for the staff to park. The structure is covered in pink, I don't know what it is, but one hopes it won't remain pink, probably a layer for insulation before the other surface is put in position over it.

Thursday. Phil and Robert came back this morning. They've done a really amazing job. The grass now looks a little more like a lawn (but not quite.) Phil managed to get the mower on it and take off the cut grass, which I think is the main problem. The little electric mower we have, a rotary job, really struggled to even touch the long grass and we never used a collection box, so the loose grass which was cut and left only added to the problems. The front looks even better, with the flower bed dug over and the grass and weeds remove and also the grass which was springing up on he parking space is gone and looks very neat and tidy.

I went to the Oaktree Centre for another session of The Church Course. This one on the history of the church. I now know who was there to help me when I collapsed when I had my heart attack in September. Just grateful for him and others who dealt with things the way they did, had First Aid experience and managed to make sure I didn't get injured when I collapsed on the floor. The lady who dealt so amazingly that morning works in the intensive care unit at Milton Keynes Hospital, so I know I was in good hands. Another good reason to support staff who work for the N.H.S. and the brilliant work they do.

Had a letter from Pension Credit. It was just reiterating what went into the application and no word about how much I'm likely to get. I have an appointment with AgeUK on Thursday regarding what other benefits I can claim and if they can help in any way to help me find alternative accommodation. As the landlord seems incapable of maintaining this house, then I'd much rather move to somewhere smaller and with lower rent, if that is at all possible. Just causing me further stress. The medication I was given by the doctor on Tuesday is going to run out on Sunday. So this means I will have to get a further appointment on Monday morning, along with all the stress that causes.

Friday. My friend Nick, who lived in the same house as me in Rutland Road in Bedford around 16 years ago, had texted me to say he could meet up with me in Milton Keynes today. He now lives in Northampton and came by bus as he has a free bus pass. We were going to meet at Starbucks, but which branch, as there are two in Milton Keynes, one in the main shopping centre and the other in Midsummer Place, the newer section. I got to the shopping centre and parked where I usually park and then  walked in and sat and waited outside Starbucks. We were scheduled to meet at 11a.m.

Saturday. Bright and sunny again this morning. Alfie and I were out walking around Eaglestone Park by around 6.10 and back before 6.30. No point lazing around in bed when it's such a lovely day. I say a group of squirrels playing around a tree as we walked along the path near the shop. Alfie didn't see them. I don't think he can see that well because he's so low to the ground. Funny this, because if he sees them in the garden he goes mad and barks, but out in the park, then he doesn't take any notice. Generally his eyesight is fine, particularly when it's seeing off pussycats!

I don't hang about. Why waste time in bed on a warm and sunny day, although as I write this at 8.45a.m, it's become a bit overcast and a bit dull, I've been to put credit on both the gas and electric meters, going to the local shop to do this. Then I drove to Aldi at Bradwall Common and was in and out of there in barely 20 minutes and then home to put everything away and now sitting here drawing breath. Alfie fussing to be given a treat out of the bag that sits on the bookshelf.

I went to the Oaktree Centre a little after 10 o'clock because there was a car-boot sale on. Fortunately it wasn't too hot. I had a bit of a wander round but nothing took my fancy. I was impressed by he vintage car that one of the church regulars had bought along, a Ford. It's in amazing condition. It must have taken ages to restore it to near-perfect condition. It reminds me of the cars that were used when I worked on the BBC television series 'Campion,' which starred Brian Glover and Peter Davidson. I was one of the villain's henchmen. Yes, I know, me as a baddie? Not brilliant casting, but good fun. I think I've described in fair detail how it went. A really hot day, if I remember rightly.

I got home and there was a pile of mail waiting on the doormat. One, a fairly thick manilla envelope, the sort that screams 'government department,' either H.M.S.O., or Dept of Work and Pensions (which is what it was from.) informing me that they had calculated how much Pension Credit I should get. Go on, shall I tell you? The princely sum of £7 per week. Hardly going to help pay my rent. They tell me that I'm being paid too much, including my pension and what I get from Carol's Teachers' pension. So, what shall I spend that on? A couple of packets of biscuits, teabags, washing-up liquid. I know I shouldn't complain, but the length of time it's taken to sort out and all he stress, it's hardly worth the effort to apply and just think of the cost in administration. Seems to me that it's one step forward and several back.

The meds the doctor gave me last Tuesday will run out tonight when I take the final one. So it means I will have to ring the surgery tomorrow to get a repeat or at least another similar medication. Just more annoyance and stress . . .

Another Sunny Day

(Tuesday) The sun is out again today, but thankfully it hasn't been quite as searingly hot as it's been over the past couple of days.

I'm still waiting to hear exactly what I'm likely to get as regards cash. Not very much, it would appear. I have been sent a form which came in the post with a letter informing me I'm possibly going to inherit a pension from Abbey National. It is addressed in Bournemouth so I'm thinking it must have been connect to a job that Carol must have had when she lived in Bournemouth, although at the moment there's no guarantee I'm going to get anything, but they have to check at the D.W.P. (Deprtment of Work and Pensions) just to make sure. I'm concerned because whatever I get will have to go towards paying rent on this house. Just stressing me out waiting.

I won't be going to Camphill today. Just not up to it. Sorry, but that's the way it is. I texted Teo, the drama leader, to let him know and he did text back so I at least know he got my message. I'm so glad we have this technology, although at times it can be annoying.

Had a not particularly good night's sleep and have had to ring doctor for an appointment. I started ringing at 8.15 (now I have absolutely no idea what time they are supposed to open the telephone lines.) and I was ringing about every 5 minutes. Thank goodness my phone has a redial function otherwise I would be wearing out my finger.) I eventually got through at 8.35 and found 2 people in the queue in front of me and eventually got to speak to a receptionist at 8.45. But, as I write this (9.51) I am still waiting for a doctor to ring me back to give me an appointment today.

I got  telephone call, so I rushed to pick it up, but it wasn't a doctor. It was Age UK, who got my message regarding the letter I got yesterday (mentioned above.). I have got an appointment there on 11th July for them to do a benefits check to see what else I am entitled to.

I eventually got a call from the doctor's surgery. The lady was sorry that I hadn't had a doctor's call, due to being very busy, but she got me an appointment with Dr Roy at 4.50 this evening.

I went to the doctor's appointment well before the time of 4.50. I was there around 4.30. I always attempt to get to my appointments earlier than scheduled because there is always the slight chance that I will be seen earlier. This has happened so this makes sense. Also, the traffic along Standing Way, which you have to cross in order to get to the surgery, can often be heavy and this can make you late. This is a particularly difficult roundabout to negotiate, hence the time it can take. When I eventually got parked and then walked around to the surgery entrance, I was surprised that the waiting area was virtually empty, apart from one lady.

I've been given a prescription for Diazepam. I have resisted taking any sort of antidepressants because the last time I had any, not long after Carol died, they had a more negative effect than I expected. The doctor explained that this isn't an antidepressant. I helps reduce anxiety. I took one a couple of hours before I went to bed and I didn't experience any side effects, such as suggested in the leaflet which came with the tablets.

(Wednesday)This morning I don't feel drowsy or in any way tired. I had a very good night's sleep. Alfie came upstairs to find out what I was doing. Well, just awake but laying in bed. He barked at me (this was at about 5.45a.m.) I refused to move. What on earth was the point of getting up so early? You try explaining to him! He is actually quite capable of jumping up onto the bed, but he insist I pick him up. So I did. He stared at me, as he does when he thinks he ought to be going out for his early morning walk. I remained steadfastly in bed and rolled over. He came round and at on the pillow next to my face. In this way I have absolutely no way I can avoid him. How can you, when he's right next to you on the pillow your laying on?

As it's bright and sunny I decided to put on a load of washing. Perhaps best to, because Phil and Robert are coming back tomorrow and will attempt to mow the grass (no, I'm not calling it 'lawn' because it doesn't in any way resemble one.) and it would be difficult for them to work if there is drying washing is in the way, is it's best to do it today and get it out on the line and dry as quickly as possible. It should, if the weather stays as it is at the moment.

Later. I walked to my appointment at the Macmillan Unit at Milton Keynes hospital this afternoon. A bit shocked to find when I got there that the chairs where you wait are now changed. Not the really nice comfortable armchairs which used to be in there, but really horrible, uncomfortable upright chairs. Why the change? I really couldn't spend too long sitting on them. I'd get back ache and goodness knows what else ache. By bum, for a start. Had a good chat and it's nice to have somewhere to go to off-load how I was feeling and to discuss problems and to know I can always go back if I want to.

No Milk!

(Saturday) I've done it again! The milk was off so I couldn't have my breakfast bowl of cereal or my mug of tea. I'll just have to wait until the local shop is open and then, once I've munched my cereal and drunk my tea, I can take Alfie out around Eaglestone Park. He's watching me on from his position on the sofa. Never mind. I just didn't realise the milk was off. It came out with horrible floaty bits in it so that's the end of it.

Later. I've been to get milk from the One Stop shop in Garroways, Coffee Hall. I came back and  took Alfie out for his walk. There was absolutely no way he was going to let me have my bowl of cereal and cup of tea before we went out. But I had this when we got back. Funny little dog, a bit of a control freak, but I love him to bits. He's been a fantastic support for me during Carol's diagnosis and since she's died. made myself a cup of tea

I went to Aldi at Bradwell Common. I'm trying to wean myself off Sainsbury's. Nothing wrong with them as a supermarket, but compared with Aldi, they are not cheap. I was in and out in barely 10-15 minutes. No lingering, which is how the big supermarkets want you to behave, selling stuff that you don't really need, such as clothing, so you put it in your trolley and before you know it, your final bill has doubled or trebled. I like the fact that Aldi, as well as Lidl, is relatively small footprint and that you have little choice for some products so its easy to make a decision. Why have so many versions of the same thing, washing-up liquid, breakfast cereal, coffee or tea? Just put it in our trolley. Then, at the checkout, they speedily scan it through. Someone has had the sense to make the barcodes easy to find and they're larger than on other supermarket's packaging. You just have your shopping scanned straight into your trolley and you pack it into your own bags on a nearby shelf once you've paid, which means less waiting in the queue.

Yesterday was hot. Infact, far too hot. After the glitch on Thursday, when my heart rate increased when I went out on my way to the Oaktree Centre, I made sure I stayed indoors and out of the heat. This morning it's not as hot, although the sun is shining at 6.55a.m. I have taken Alfie out around Eaglestone Park, a bit of a surprise for him and before I had my breakfast. Now watching BBC Breakfast and Donald Trump visiting the D.M.Z. (Demilitarised Zone) between North and South Korea. I'm not sure how the pictures are being transmitted, probably via a satellite link, but the pictures keep freezing. Trump preening and making the most of the photo opportunity. He really is a narcissist and relishes being the centre of attention. But, it depends how you read this 'historic event,' and I suppose it it, but don't forget that Trump intends to stand again for next year's Presidential Election, it's just a photo opportunity. But will President Moon, North Korean President, turn up to meet him? Of course, Trumpy has to broadcast this all over Twitter. Just surprises me that the President of the USA should be allowed to use Twitter or any social media, more from a security perspective than anything else.

I've decided that the world, at long last, will have to endure the sight of my knees and my legs! I've put on my shorts and the short-sleeved shirt I bought in Marks and Spencers some while ago. Just need to keep cool today, that's all. The sun continues to shine at 8.15a.m. Just sitting here in my armchair in the lounge writing this.

I've been to Shenley Christian Centre. The speaker was someone from Newlife Church called Dave Eyeington. One of the guys I work with in the drama workshop told me he went there. No end of people in the café area during the break between services when they serve tea and coffee. But NO BISCUITS! I know, I shouldn't eat them, but I do like a biccy with my cuppa and disappointed when there wasn't a Hobnob, Ginger Nut, Digestive, Jammie Dodger (I like them best, especially the red, jammy bit in the centre.) or Custard Cream. Now I've talked myself into going out and getting a packet from the local shop. I think it's called, I can't think now, but I know what I'm attempting to say. Something to do with psychology. It's how supermarkets get us to buy, buy, buy.

I left the Oaktree Centre and immediately drove down Chaffron Way and went to Waitrose and into the café to have a latte, egg sandwich and rather nice Danish pastry. I have bought myself a water bottle because I think I need to drink more, particularly in this warm weather. I think it was when my heart rate increased because of the heat the other evening that encouraged me to buy this item. I just now have to remember to actually fill it with water and take it with me and not leave it at home.

There was quite a queue of cars coming out of the carpark and going up the slope leaving Waitrose. Why on earth is it such a tight turn coming up that slope? Why do drivers insist of trying to turn right coming onto Chaffron Way? It's a particularly dangerous turn in the first place and surely it's safer and easier to turn left, go round the roundabout and go straight ahead, or is that too simple and easy and far easier? I just wonder how many accidents there have been at this junction. The local authority needs to put some sort of barrier in the centre of the road so that people can't turn right. I imagine if they did this, then there would be an outcry. Always someone who will complain, even if it's a safety measure. Driving at full speed around Milton Keynes, at whatever the speed limit is is also dangerous, but it needs to be no more that 50 miles per hour.

As I drove back along Chaffron Way back home I got a phone call through the media system in my car. I have managed to connect my iPhone to the sound system via Bluetooth. This was only the second such call I have had since setting this up. It was from a friend, Margaret, who goes to Shenley Christian Fellowship. It was inviting me for lunch at 2 o'clock. I immediately said yes. It's nice to be invited and a chance to get out of the house. Also nice not to have to prepare a meal and also it means I won't now need to have a meal this evening. They live in Downhead Park, which is next to Willen, no just Willen Hospice (barely a five-minute drive when Carol was in there) but also Camphill.